Middle of the Week Forever

All body is body horror because having a body is scary. All psychology is psychological horror because thinking is scary. All survival is survival horror because being alive is scary.

every time i have salmon it's like. bears are right. i would also stand in a stream for this.

adulthood is like dog training but you are both the dog and the trainer and also it doesn’t work and is bad

I'm just sitting here in my room and i got painfully flashed in the eyes by a car going over a slight incline at least a mile away like you could see the shadows on my wall and everything. i will vote for literally anyone that makes LED headlights over a certain number of lumens illegal and subject to arrest. I'm a prison abolitionist but I'm willing to compromise my principles this one time

so fucked up that halloweens on monday. thats a friday kind of holiday

they’re called. th. they’re called responsibilities bechause theyh keep fucking respawnjng

lacing my blood with poison so when those mosquitoes try to drink from me theyll be in for a nasty surprise

king arthur, if you’re out there, there will never be a funnier time to wake up

Adult friendships be like “I miss you bro, let's hang out in November"

I really feel like if someone could just tell me how normal people act I could do it. it's the having to come up with my actions on my own that really gets me

i think jennette mccurdy deserves to be given a shotgun and power armor and to chase dan schneider through a maze and go doomguy on his ass and personally send him to hell

new DB Cooper theory: he went up