Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

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@evangelysia
Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

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Listen, fellow trans women, I love you all, but if you think that trans men or transmascs are an oppressor class you need to log the fuck off because you are being brainpoisoned by discourse-mongers. That is a legitimately rocks for brains take
There is a HUUUUUGE gap between "transfems experience a unique intersection of oppressions which are not experienced by transmascs", which is true, "some passing trans men benefit from male privilege", which is true, "trans people are not immune to transphobic rhetoric and this can sometimes take the form of transmascs engaging in transmisogyny", which is true, and "transmascs should be treated as equivalent to cis men because trans men are men and therefore as men they are a danger to trans women" like do you see where the gigantic leap of logic comes in here?
There is something personally offensive to me about accounts that go out of their way to post about transmascs being dangerous or untrustworthy or transmisogynistic when the primary danger to trans women right now is the goddamn United States government. Like we've got people in the white house who would outlaw all HRT if given the opportunity and you're gonna post about trans men?? I don't even mean this in a "we have bigger fish to fry" sort of way I mean this is the sense that building solidarity is one of the most important things you can do when faced with a hostile government and society. It's not just that the claims being made are bullshit and transphobic it's that the whole thing feels actively self-destructive toward creating any kind of community that's of any use to anyone
hi mutual my awesome mutual evan am i allowed to message you on discord because we barely talk and id like to talk more. i already have you added im pretty sure unless i theres two evangelysias out there
HELP YES OFC IM SORRY I KEEP FORGETTING I HAVE IRL FRIENDS ADDED TO DISCORD TOO DONT EVEN ASK YOU CAN ALWAYS MESSAGE ME
BIG TW. ABUSE AND STUFF IDK ITS ALOT
i dont know if other people go through this but if they do, we dont talk about how much it STINGS to have âchangedâ parents. like yeah my dad told me to kms and handed me a knife when i was thirteen but he hasnt even tried to talk to me when i asked to be left alone. like yeah my mum threw my phone so hard at me it bruised but she clearly felt guilty and now shes so nice, and talking to her is fine. and its even more conflicting when one parent is relatively good but still sticks by the side of the relatively worse one and tries to mediate. and we dont talk about how terrible it feels to have changed parents like that.
i still hate him for the ways he hurt me and i still hate her for the ways she failed to protect me but i feel so bad for hating them because they changed and they feel guilty. it feels like i owe them a good relationship. i know i dont but it feels like i do. i know im going to feel like the worst person on earth when i inevitably cut them off because i know that deep down they never thought they were wrong. they only cared because they got caught, and they only think what they did was wrong because i got a fucking diagnosis. i still see them act the same fucking way to my brother. its better for him though because hes in uni. and he was never the mentally ill kid. he was never the glass child. he was the eldest sibling, yes. i respect his struggles. but gosh i cant help but resent him and feel like its so much worse for me because dad always says âi love you more than your brotherâ and that âloveâ hurts. i know that it hurts him too but im here all alone with all this conflict in my head and hurt and nobody is here to give me clarity, while hes away at uni and following his dreams.
anyway. thats off topic. im hoping some people see what im saying here. having abusive parents was bad but when they change its worse because now you dont know how to feel. when they hurt you, at least you knew you can hate them. but when they stop, its so hard to do that. im getting lightheaded because of the lack of food in my body today so thats all for now i hope someone relates to everything ive said
hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead
âcan i be mean for a secâ says the most based, understandable, and reasonable argument about something and still manages to apologise for it

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I hate that âchatâ now makes people think of chatgpt. no. Iâm asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.
"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with
LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST
actually as a woman I still think misandry makes you an unpleasant person and if youâre just out there saying shit like âall men should dieâ or âmenâs mental health doesnât matterâ then youâre the type of person I want nothing to do with. also this is not what feminism is about btw, youâre not being a strong girl boss with this ideology, youâre just a bully
remember:
-the idea that women are less capable of abuse than men is an extension of the idea that women are weaker than men.
-the refusal to acknowledge men's mental health and emotions as valid things worthy of support comes from the idea that emotions are inherently feminine in nature and having them is, again, a sign of weakness.
-the treatment of men as generic and expendable and women as special contributes to the idea that women should have less representation because we already "have enough" and "don't need more" and we gotta "even the playing field" or some dumb shit, so any need or want for more attention, regardless of reason, is attributed to "pointless attention-seeking".
-all of this puts trans men in an even more uncomfortable position, because either they're made an exception (because they ~aren't really men~ you see) or they're viewed as self-hating misogynists because why else would you "choose" to be the Trash Gender (tm)?
all of these seemingly pro-women anti-men sentiments stem from beliefs produced and enforced by toxic masculinity; as such, misandry is often really just misogyny in disguise.
adding more onto this:
-the idea that men are inherently terrible only serves to excuse men for being terrible. because, hey, they can't help it, so why bother trying, right? part of holding men accountable for their awful actions is believing they can in fact be better.
-the reason "not all men" is so frustrating to hear is because it's often used in poor faith to derail much needed conversations about toxic masculinity and how it manifests, not because the phrase itself is untrue.
-continuing from the trans men thing, misandry can and does make it harder for trans men to come out, for fear of the aforementioned responses.
-yes, misandry can stem from trauma at the hands of a man. that's understandable, but trauma can reinforce a lot of prejudices, and we all have a responsibility to understand how we come to believe things and mind ourselves accordingly. that doesn't mean you need to hang around men all the time, nor does it mean you're wrong to feel the way you do about what men did to you - it just means recognizing the objective line between fact and feelings, and recognizing that you don't need to conflate the two to validate your feelings. "i am uncomfortable around men because of past experiences shared by a lot of women" is different from "men are all horrible irredeemable pieces of shit and need to die".
Whereâs the YA protagonist teen girl and her two boyfriends that are supposed to save us from this mess anyways
The dystopia books lied. The teen throuples arenât coming to save us.
Save me teen dystopia love triangle
Teen dystopia love triangle save me
theyre too busy having one and a half sex

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Why am I getting aggressively sang at
okay you see thats funny because i was singing waving through a window aggressively while scrolling and i read this and i had to stop and laugh
Forget AGAB, I'm ATKAB
Assigned Theatre Kid At Birth
who up doing Bad
I'm going to nyxnkill myself
i will not let you
nuh uh
i am NOT suffering through school alone
ALSO I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU DURING LUNCH AND BREAKFAST ON FRIDAY WHERE WERE YOU :(
I truly hate that âwomen are more emotionally wired than menâ bullshit. Men are creatures of hysteria and I say this as a man.

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being self aware but not able to stop it be like -
brain: he told you that he didnt ask. youre annoying as fuck arent you even the art teacher said it now
me: he said that because i was frantically trying to explain something that i do as a habit and he probably thought i felt like he was questioning me and was trying to assure me that he wasnt questioning me
brain: but he said âi didnt askâ so he hates listening to you or talking to you
me: c o n t e x t my guy
brain: no youre now gonna listen to the saddest music you can find and cry for an hour because you dont deserve to be happy youâre annoying
me: wildly unnecessary but okay
you know when youre just having a perfectly normal day and life and then you just force yourself to be sad and depressed again because being okay feels wrong
like in my head
its just like âyou dont deserve to feel okay in life or be happy if youre not the most perfect wonderful person you can beâ
or âyou messed up this one thing. you have ruined all your nice progress because you got told by a teacher that you need to pay attention in class more
i think thats also like a separate issue
feeling absolutely horrible at any reprimand
its like im a little kid crying âplease dont think im a bad kid im a good kid i swear im trying im really trying im a good kid i swearâ
just deathly afraid of being seen negatively
especially by teachers because thats where i get validation from most often and i dont want them to see anything imperfect or bad in me
i dont want them to see the parts of me i deem too âbadâ to be allowed to exist
even if its something as small as attention span
i dont know im just sad
really fucking sad
anyone relate