Lower Your Expectations

Can you guys just watch goodfellas

I don’t wanna Tommy’s too scary

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks

i dont want to be in a fandom that critisizes the choices of fictional characters like they are human beings. i want to see THEORY and ANALYSIS and STORY STRUCTURE and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!! I WANT PARALLELS AND MOTIFS AND VISUAL CUES!!! They're not REAL they are TOOLS so stop acting like they are people who made bad choices and should be punished. of course they made bad choices!!! that shit is funny and cool to watch!!

when you see a Good post, you can say "HEEHO" when the post is Bad, the post is "wawoo"

Wawoo

shut the fuck up 

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

#amazing work everyone hit the flowers

It is infact the first today I’m loosing it

I have this theory that the more defensive an animal is around their home, the tastier their offspring must be. I came up with this theory two summers ago when my friend and I accidentally stepped on a yellow jacket nest and they proceeded to sting us so incredibly painfully and stalk us to try to finish the job. We barely made it out alive! Since yellow jackets don’t actually make anything tasty like honey, I concluded that there must be something even tastier worth protecting; their offspring. Yellowjacket larvae must be so incredibly delicious and tender that they must not only deliver a powerful sting, but hunt down any trespassers to death. Anyway, I don’t have any evidence for this theory yet but I’m hoping to try it out soon by acquiring a beekeeper costume and grabbing a yellow jacket grub to see what it tastes like