Kuiper Chaos Vanth @kuiperchaos - Tumblr Blog

my fucking pronounce

Kuiper Chaos Vanth, Juniper Ash Robertson, Jeffrey Daniel Robertson, Lefteris Michael Lesler, Tennifer Jaceson Smith, Holly Juliette Rosemer

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my-flying-sister

I love rebloging. It’s the adult equivalent of showing everyone the cool rock I just found.

the-dandy-liar

escuerzoresucitado

incogniito

I see that town in my restless dreams..

clickrtraind

can you lez the fuck in

cl3rks

Burn Notice. [S1.E1: Pilot.]

platypusisnotonfire

This is legitimately how I’ve broken into a thousand places like just act like you’re meant to be there and if someone actually ends up calling you out on it just be super confused

platypusisnotonfire

#I would be an excellent pentester and actually have considered it as a job many a time#when I was a kid (7-14ish) my grandmother was in the hospital a lot and I was a bored kid that no one was really watching#and we spent days and days at the hospital over the course of those years#so I’d wander around and it became a challenge to see where it could get into without gettting caught#and the answer is basically everywhere#like ther is no legit reason for an 11 year old to be in the morgue but I was tall for my age and I would carry a cup of coffee#and look irritated to be there like someone woke me up for this#and no one would question me#people would ask where are you headed and if you just exhaustedly point through a security door 97% of the time they will swipe their card#-and open it for you

I want to add that I don’t make a habit of this now that I am a law abiding adult, but recently I accidentally did this again. Having been used to having my run of hospitals and walking basically anywhere as a child, I was visiting a friend in the hospital just before covid and I was legitimately exhausted and carrying a coffee cup cuz it was like 5:30am or something dumb, and I went to leave and get to the bottom floor and i’m like “this is not the lobby” and I walked around for a bit and people kept holding doors for me so I traveled through many corridors, and nothing looked familiar, and then I realized every single door was a key card swipe and everyone had mag-stripe badges with varying security levels and I realized I had gotton onto a staff elevator with the staff, who had swiped their card to go down into a high-security area of the building, and people had just been letting me through all these security doors.

So then I had to out myself and be like “Um I accidentally broke into you high-security wing, please show me the door, I’m literally just trying to leave this hospital” and I had to get like searched and stuff.

And what was funny was that while I was blissfully walking around assuming I belonged, No one questioned ANYTHING and in fact, were violating protocols left and right to let me through, but the VERY SECOND I realized I was not where I was supposed to be and let that show on my face, like three people in the hall confronted me.

So the take away is, be confident that you belong, look exhausted and like you don’t want to be there, and carry a cup of coffee. It will open pretty much all doors.

@clutchkuza I feel like you need to hear this lol

i-am-corbin-dallas

No joke, Burn Notice is a great show. If you like Leverage, give Burn Notice a try (its available on Hulu and Prime iirc) and frfr, confidence and an excuse are all you need to get around places

disasterlarper

This works I accidentally broke into someone’s whole ass home a month or so ago and uhhh it went fine because I’m short white and VERY CONFUSED

echodrops

One time while I was in Rome, I was busy admiring the ruins and not paying attention to signage, got lost, and ended up in some kind of archaeological dig or restoration. Not knowing it was off-limits (having missed all signage, as previously stated), I started peeking around all the stone stuff, wandering off the path, and most importantly (to this story), poking around in a hole that had been dug into the ground. I was careful not to touch anything, but still, clearly (to anyone who wasn’t as oblivious as me) this was not a place a tourist was meant to be.

I finally attracted the notice of someone who was meant to be part of this restoration project when I came back up from the hole. He quickly came over to ask me, in Italian, what I’m sure were the very normal questions of “Who are you?”, “What are you doing here??”, etc.

Problem: I do not speak Italian.

My brain’s solution: Quick, what language do we speak that’s close?!

And that is how I wandered up out of a hole in a Roman ruin without warning and began speaking ancient Latin to an archaeologist.

This man’s face went through 15 different absolutely floored expressions in ten seconds, like you could physically see him going through the thought process of “Have I encountered a ghost from ancient Rome? No, ghosts aren’t real. But if ghosts not real, how Latin??? Fellow researcher??? Supposed to be here???”

So this is the story of how I was allowed to walk away without issue at all after blatantly trespassing upon the ruins of ancient Rome, because if you speak Latin, where else would you belong?

charlesoberonn

When in Rome…

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bobdylanyaoi

onethousandfrogs

Funniest justification for gay sex thank you Marlon Brando

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

fake people pleasers when marlon brando arrives

tboy-cock

"if you take testosterone youll look like your DAD!! DO YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD?!! YOULL LOOK LIKE A GROSS UGLY MAN YOULL LOOK LIKE YOUR DAD!" nope! adopted💖

tboy-cock

shoutout to the guys saying "my dad is awesome itll be cool if i look like him" but especially shoutout to the guys saying "i will/do look like my dad on t and i am making him suffer for it. he is evil and he HATES that i look like him. im like him but better" yall have a powerful aura

rupurteblr

i call this one “using tumblr as a person of color”

might update with more images at some point

the-uncanny-dag

Some of the ones I've accumulated

monochrome-stars

big fan of telling people "have fun" when they say theyre going to the restroom

universeleads

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

universeleads

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

overwhelmedfernfrond

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

venort

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

mildlybizarrecorvid

He got past the first three games, though

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curseofmeatthawsmoth

Greek Nathan's foot long Yogurt Hot Dogs

starbuck

me analyzing my favorite characters:

wiltking

if you're writing and find yourself thinking 'this is too weird/gross/offputting/esoteric/ambitious/catered to my specific interests + sure to push away a broader audience' that is the devil speaking and it is a lie. you are already firmly on the right path and you need to double down

lleyksie

moles + worms + shrew

terpsikeraunos

ancient greek word of the day: κακοθερής (kakotherēs), unfitted to endure summer heat

aphilologicalbatman-deactivated

this literally means “bad at summer” pass it on

zipstick

Reblog if you, too, are bad at summer

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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creekfiend

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

7777777awawawa7777777

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

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