A Bearah for the Era

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

winning the beautiful barista’s heart via physical comedy

You slipped in the Starbucks again didn’t you

can you put that thing on a leash?

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

when tumblr dies i'll live under your bed and you can say out loud what you would post and i will say LIKE or REBLOG it'll be just like we're still here

give me your most controversial music opinion

the beatles were one ugly guy moving really fast

Fuuuck I just loss 20000 dollars in adverisement revenue and potential sales when that guy over there didn’t look at my flyer because he was talking to the girl he was walking with. The sensible option here is to ban talking while walking since it’s literally theft.

notice how everyones 30 now