Worldwide Just Fuck My Shit Up Headquarters

Diane, clear my schedule. I’m attempting a recipe that says “prep time: 15 minutes.”

Kid with a bluey backpack on the flight to Sydney this must be his mecca

why is trespassing not allowed. like i just want to look

standing at the bus stop with one arm leaning on the bus stop sign pole my body is posed so seductively. no bus driver could resist picking me up 

i’m like if a pervert was a sweetheart

Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.

Oh! The intimacy of adopting each other’s vocabulary.