losers d.n.i.

working up the courage to message an old friend you've fallen out of contact with is weird, especially if you were really close. like hi i think about you almost every day and sometimes i dream about you and your name is etched on my soul. we haven't spoken in five years. how are you?

guy who wins at poker not by being stoic but by bursting into tears every time he looks at his cards, just full hysterical breakdown every round and you gotta peer through the void of theatre kid problems to figure it out

i think if twitter went down, TV writing would get at least 30% better

i was born inside an airpod case 3 minutes ago your honor and i love abortion

this is the most unhelpful post ever

do i look like a fucking faq to you

op lives in legoland

This is by far the most terrifying thing that’s been added to one of my posts

another day at the “your dog must be leashed on federal property” park where a huge unleashed black lab comes up to my dog (small, leashed) as his owner meanders along behind him and calls out “oh he’s friendly don’t worry!” to which I reply “well mine isn’t always so can you please come leash your dog”

I don’t actually like being a huge bitch to strangers, it’s apparently not the vibe I give off IRL at all, but when someone’s complete disregard for safety endangers my dog and me I will get a bit snippy with them.

thank you for brushing my aewsome teeth *leaves the dentist without paying*

why are some people only now understanding how fun sucker punch was. where were you when i was fifteen and had a crush on emily browning. where WERE you