doesn't everyone just do mobile?

Do you have my back like the gmail security team has my back tho?

WHAT

Help; my wife is holding herself hostage for a ransom of 1,000 kisses but that’s really a lot and would take hours I think she overestimated.

Ty systems engineer side of tumblr you’ve saved my marriage.

Humans will pack bond with anything. 

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.

<3 This Wholesome Thread has restored my faith in the Basic Goodness of our species <3

i won’t let this meme die

Omg so I’m at the cafe by campus and this guy came in and went to hug this chick but she went in for a fist bump

OK OMG SHE SAT HIM DOWN AND SAID “I think we should break up”

I’m legit 3 feet away from them pretending to be invested in my science book

She said “it’s not you it’s me” and before he could respond the barista called his name. It’s Bob. Poor Bob

It was a few minutes of awkward silence as he took a sip of his drink. It’s the same kind as mine. Meaning he ordered Hot Chocolate

He started out with “You know, I think.” And I could hear this lady’s eyes roll. No one cares what you think Robert

FINGERS ARE FLYING. SHE POINTING AT HIM. SHIT IS GETTING REAL.

she calmed down and he legit did that thing where you steppe you fingers together in front of your mouth and take a huge breath. Bro. Leave it. It’s done. She’s too pretty for you.

He freaking snapped his fingers like he’s got this grand plan to make up for things.

She Said she still wants to be friends. She starts this by asking about his day

Apparently something bob said made her laugh.

She has not been able to say a word since she got him talking. It’s too loud in the cafe for me to make out anything even tho I’m legit behind this chick

He talking about his struggles now and how much he needs her. Run lady. Run. Run far away.

She tried to get up and his hAND SHOT OUT TO GRAB HERS

“well some people are bitchy” -bob

Lady does not have a drink. I don’t think she planned on being here this long.

Bob is again talking about himself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 no one cares bob.

Well he said something that made her laugh again. It sounded fake tho.

He’s talking about school. APPARENTLY HE IS A PROFESSOR

“Promiscuousness leads to disease” -Bob again.

I’m done with my hot chocolate and I don’t know if the bitter taste in my mouth is from the chocolate residue I drank or my disdain for Professor Bob.

She adjusted her chair so she’s further away

SHE GOT UP! She went to take her purse but bob said to leave and he would watch it. I think she’s headed to the bathroom.

I can’t leave! But he’s doing that voice to text thing for his phone. Talking to someone about this? Idk?

I’m trying to figure out what he’s saying by looking at his lips but I suck as this. Also where are his lips?? Bob is lipless. Further proof that lizard people exist.

He’s talking about his students again.

She was talking and he interrupted her and she was like “I was talking” and he like flinched and he apologized. Yes queen.

“but this is why this democracy is at its purest.” Wtf Bob that doesn’t make sense

They’re talking so quietly now I can’t hear them.

“I should have said this a long time ago. But I can’t get anyone to love me” -Bob what the fuck.

“I feel like I’m projecting my self onto you” -bob once again

She’s leaving! She said something about picking up her son, Kevin, from school. Good job lady!

HOLY SHIT HES REACHING INTO HIS PANTS WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

OMG OMG OMG ITS A MENS RING!! HE PUT IT ON HIS HAND HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. HES PICKING UP HIS PHONE

Fuck you bobert

this was a JOURNEY from start to finish

I 1,000% never thought of it from this point of view before and am now screaming Too Hot, Hot Damn, Made that dragon wanna retire man.

“EXPLAIN NOTHING”

IVE ALWAYS LOVED HIM AND THIS IS WHY

y’all remember boromir? that wild son of a gun loved

he lo

sorry i’m crying he loved

pip and merry and he gave his life for them

I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY AND LIKE 2 HOURS LATER THE WALLET I HAD LOST 6 HOURS AWAY FROM HOME THAT HAD MY DEBIT CARD AND LIKE 80 DOLLARS IN CASH WAS DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS I CANT HELP BUT THINK IT WAS JACKIE CHAN WHO SENT IT GOD BLESS YOU JACKIE CHAN

Last time I did this it was payday so duh. Let’s see what you’ve got this time, Chan.

Er, actually, about a minute after I hit reblog I got some very important (and positive) money-related news out of the blue. The system works, guys.

I reblogged this a few days ago and over the weekend the people i was babysitting for gave me a hige tip, my dad gave me a random $40, and i got to keep the change from my haircut appointment

I hate these things so much but look how cute Jackie Chan is <3

He Chunch Thos Leafs

young man, there are leaves all around

i said young man, eat a leaf off the ground

I know I’m following the right people when I see this kinda stuff on my dash

@setepenre-set