Friendly Ghost: After Hours

I think my favorite jokes are the ones that weren’t even all that funny until I was an adult, and now they’re fucking hilarious. I’m not even talking about the dirty jokes. I’m talking about in Finding Nemo where the sharks are having fucking AA for fish eating. Remember that shit? “I am a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must first change myself.” Who ever thought of that? That was brilliant. Or what about that time in Shrek 2 where Shrek and Donkey infiltrate the castle pretending to be union workers? Little me didn’t give a shit about unions but big me is remembering Shrek going “It’s okay buddy, we’re from the union” and the desk worker secretively “we don’t even have dental,” and Shrek just shakes his head and looks at Donkey like he can’t believe this shit and goes, “They don’t even have dental.” What the fuck. I’m dying of laughter. Who comes up with this shit.

Dirty jokes have their place but I kind of wish more “adult” jokes relied on “Things only adults would understand due to lack of life experience,” instead of “Things that are inappropriate for kids,”

why DO teenage girls go through a witch/occult phase? I had tarot cards and a spellbook and I knew a group of girls who messed with ouija boards and another who had ghost hunting equipment. “oh yeah Cindy’s just going through that girly phase where she tries to raise the dead.”

theory - we want power and know our culture doesn’t want to give us any?

Addendum: witches are one of the few cultural figures of female empowerment that don’t derive their power from their relationship to a man.

Galaxy brain: all women have suppressed magic inside them waiting to be unleashed

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

why is that so fuckin funny

I want to know if they got answers. 

I really wanna know how this turned out.

cracking open 500 cold ones with the dads

@church

Gundam Guy is truly a man of patience and diligence. From his attention to detail building his models to the loving attention and detail for his wife.

one of the weirdest changes you go through when you get older that nobody tells you about is how much you start to absolutely LOVE walking. like i never really hated the outdoors as a kid but you asked me if i wanted to go strolling through the woods and fields or something i would’ve refused without hesitation. now i’m only outmatched by dogs in terms of how utterly bonkers i go when i hear the w word.

comics then: funny cat loves lasagna and hates mondays comics now: pigeon experiences a micro-aggression