kiss has to be one of the most disappointing bands ever. imagine hearing about this crazy rock band that dresses up in insane costumes and wears face paint and the one guy looks super demonic and has a really long tongue and everyone says they're satanic and then you listen to them and they're just singing about how they wanna bone but it's in a socially acceptable tongue in cheek way that your dad likes

Who else moans when they eat the subway cookie

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

"omg you remembered!" of course i did. I have a file on you

This is what Willem Defoe was writing on his detective pad