Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

writing is 10% storytelling and 90% rearranging three sentences for an hour like you're trying to solve an ancient curse

i fucking love when halloween music is just surf rock with a ghoul laughing in the background

i love me some scooby doo ass music

If you're ever feeling sad at night just remember: your cat is probably somewhere in your room attempting to do bizzare half life physics puzzles with fragile objects

never do any sort of collaborative storytelling with your friends youll get addicted for life

"are you normal about-" no I'm an insane pervert

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

I have a bisexual guppy and its funny as hell to watch because it seems like he’s only bi out of desperation. Like all of the female guppies are unimpressed by him, and dont accept his mating displays, and every time he fails, he goes over to a SPECIFIC male guppy (the prettiest male guppy in the tank) like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE and that male guppy always lets him????

i would read that fanfic ngl

About my fish??

FUJOSHI FISH????

listen you NEED to borrow that book from the library. i know youve got like 10 other books lined up to be read but you need to go to the library. remind the library that it's loved and cherished

i can handle one (1) Event™ per day. whether it be a phone call, an appointment, trip to the grocery store, play date with a friend, etc. only one, that's it. any more than that and i am Stressed