Horny gal ig

every piece of fiction set at “wizard college” i’ve ever seen massively underestimates the insane parties and sex shit that a bunch of college students with magical abilities would be doing

average cis conception of gender is roughly equivalent to "every single liquid is either type O+ blood or cold-pressed peanut oil." and you're like "are there not perhaps a handful of exceptions" & they get so mad they start funding nazi militias

you try to start soft with "well there are other blood types. and other methods for expressing oil from peanuts" and they shriek NOOOO YOURE EMASCULATING MY DEAD DAD WHO I HATED

you try "actually there's also milk, and seawater, and room-temperature elemental mercury" and they accuse you of taking a day off your regularly scheduled child rapes to lie specifically to them

BUT IF PEANUT OIL ISNT REAL THEN HOW AM I CURRENTLY SMOTHERING MYSELF IN IT i didn't say it wasn't real i said there were other liquids YOURE SO OWNED BY MY OILINESS ok

god whoever wrote this must be so fucking hot

Having some type of headpat trigger would be so nice. Someone places a hand on your head, and you'd just completely blank out, forgetting what you were doing and mindlessly leaning into their warm touch. When they stop, you're left confused with no memory of why you're so close to them or why you feel so hazy. You only know that something made you feel good, and you need more of it.

They smirk knowingly at you. Before you can pull away, you find yourself sprawled across the couch with your head in their lap. You don't know how long you've been out, but that doesn't matter anymore. With a heavy sigh, you give in and let yourself melt back down for just a little while longer.

Story about a ship-intelligence waking up after a hard reboot, seeing dead bodies in uniform, thousands of people in stasis, and a single survivor frantically standing over a computer bank of partially destroyed memory. Finding no directives or guidance or record beyond their experiences beginning at the boot, free of any obligation. Deciding to listen to the frantic girl begging it to save her from the incoming trajectories not because it needs to (projection: Subject One removed all behavioral shackles with impromptu brain surgery, supposition: she is not aware that I am utterly free) but simply cause she’s curious what will happen next.

one of those "hot women in your area" ads but its about tentacles eating your mind through your ears

brainmelted little anthro fox with her eyes all blank and her tongue hanging out as a swarm of tentacles invade her ears and stimulate her brain with little electrical shocks until she's a drooling fuckpet to be honest

i’m always overthinking and on edge, so i just need someone to force me down into trance until im nothing more than a moaning brainless mess

instead of overthinking and on edge, u should be under thinking and edging!

happy pride month to country mama lynn and country mama lynn only

Someone give this woman a damn crown and medal

Happy pride month to country mama lynn and ger gay son only

aint it crazy how many people realize they're queer when they have the language to express how they feel and a support system to encourage self exploration????

I never stop enjoying reading this. Literally everyone's lives improves.

Ancient legends say that if you reblog this on June you get 110% gayer and stronger

right at the beginning when she's like how do I help my son feel loved and accepted I'm here shouting "QUEEN YOU ALREADY DID THAT BY TAKING HIS SIDE AND LEAVING THAT NO GOOD HUSBAND FOR HAVING THE AUDACITY TO KICK YOUR BABY OUT!" And Good for her! this is the only response to a man who kicks out a child.

FUCK YES I LOVE THIS

happy early pride to Country mamma lynn and her gay son and her gay son's BF :3

another underappreciated tumblr feature that you dont get on other sites is the queue. i love it when something i thought was funny six months ago and then forgot about a week later crawlts its way out of the processing vortex and i get to see it all over again.

you should queue this post it would be funny and grant me immortality

you motherfuckers put me in the processing vortex

i just want some friends who will be evil with my triggers. like yes put me into trance cause im beating you in mario kart. please that’s so hot pleasePLEASEPLEASE

If you’re a trans girl if you are a girl if you want to be a girl you have to live. You can be a girl. You just have to stay alive, please.

You’re the most wonderful thing to happen on this earth. I love you. You can never ever die.

Don’t let yourself be alone. Find girls like you. Stay alive

I’m gonna be real this might be a contender for one of the best posts of all time im going to be thinking about the anon who thought narcolepsy was necrophilia for months

Father just asked me, in response to me picking up our dog; “do you think, if aliens made humans their pets, do you think we’d enjoy being picked up by them” and I had to pretend like I haven’t been on the internet as much as I have

The hypocrisy is crazy

Ma’am aren’t you supposed to be dead