Emory Bortz

so ummm welcome to the trawlerman:) lemme show you around! theres some tables here so you can eat, theres some babies yed to munch on, and ive even got pea wet! #mypeawet

not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here

everyone knows about silly putty, and silly string, but what you need to watch out for is serious putty (C4) and serious string (tripwires)

y’know what? FUCK you. i’m putting your ass in the control group. *injects you with boring saline instead of the fun and exciting glowing green goo i originally had planned*

restaurant with a lobster tank and a warning sign that reads DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THEIR EYES and when the waiter comes and asks you which lobster you want you notice one looking right at you and you blink and suddenly youre looking at yourself from inside of the tank and see yourself stand up and start snapping your hands like claws

This is good advice, but also why this picture?

It’s hard for two horses to be intimate when there’s an erupting volcano nearby. What’s not clicking