to feel awake when my eyes are open

Ah, yes. My favorite tumblr phenomenon

we talk a lot about how much of a revelation andrew’s confession is for neil, and not enough about how revelatory neil’s reaction is for andrew. because like. imagine you like this boy. but he doesn’t swing. you know the answer would be “no,” so there’s no point in even asking. then he goes and gets himself needlessly tortured for you, and tells you there’s no amount of suffering he wouldn’t endure for you. not because he thinks you’re weak, but because he thinks you’re worth protecting. he says things that you would interpret as advances if it were literally anyone else. you remind yourself that he doesn’t swing. now you’re at eden’s and he’s asking about your feelings for him in 12 different ways. he really wants to know. so you tell him, in the most casual and crass way you can, thinking that’ll put an end to it. but unfathomably, it doesn’t. he asks you why you didn’t tell him. why would you have? it would have been a “no.” you say that, and instead of confirming it, he just echoes your words, clearly still reeling. you start to leave, and he tells you that he wants to keep playing your game. while the absence of a “no” is obviously not the same thing as a “yes,” you’ve been operating for months and months under the assumption that the answer would be unequivocal. so you keep waiting for that answer, but it never comes. for the first time since you met him, you wonder if maybe it’s not a “no” after all. if maybe you could have this. you can’t remember the last time you were able to have something you wanted. the world tilting on its axis, indeed.

going a little insane over the fact that while The Raven Cycle was being published, same-sex marriage was legalized not just across the US in 2015 but *in virginia* in 2014. assuming the books take place around when they were released, the gangsey grew up in a world where gay marriage and even civil unions were banned in their state, and at an extremely pivotal time in their lives, suddenly, it was legal. ronan lynch was maybe seventeen to nineteen years old when suddenly, he could marry a man if he wanted to. ronan lynch, Catholic extraordinaire, was in love with Adam Parrish before he could marry him. and then he could. isn’t that something.

kevin day should’ve been an ancient greek tragic heroine and instead he got stuck in a self published 2010s contemporary sports/crime thriller… and he didn’t even get put on the woke team so he doesn’t know about estrogen or bisexuality

neil is an unreliable narrator because everything gets filtered through his exy obsession and warped by his life experiences, jean is an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and also is just wrong sometimes, jeremy is an unreliable narrator because he never tells us what he thinks or feels about anything. we haven’t gotten kevin’s pov yet but he will be an unreliable narrator for all these reasons and more

Thank you. I hope everybody thinks this

sometimes I think about how Wymack made the foxes because he never wanted another kid to go through what he did only for his own son to qualify. and then i stare into the sun

sometimes I think about how Wymack made the foxes because he never wanted another kid to go through what he did only for his own son to qualify. and then i stare into the sun

face makeup is evil. i don’t care. like eyeshadow can be a fun and creative thing and it’s not like anybody is going to think you genuinely have purple eyelids but face makeup that’s made to look “natural” just ends up making you think your normal skin is something to be covered up and distorts your perception of your face. the whole “it makes ppl more confident!” thing is a lie because it’s not that the makeup itself is making you feel confident it’s that it creates an association with confidence and the results of that is you end up hating your face which is the opposite of building your self-confidence.

i keep getting (and blocking lol) comments like “let people do what they want with their appearance!!!” on this post when like that’s literally my point makeup should be a thing you wear because you feel like you want to be creative and fuck it why not have black eyelids and purple lips today. foundation and contouring and colour correcting that look “natural” are the opposite of that! you’re not doing it because you want to you’re doing it because you feel like your face is lacking without it after wearing it for so long and makeup companies prey on that. it’s a good business model because a foundation bottle is something you’re gonna have to replace once a year if you wear it every day but eyeshadow and lipstick will last you several years even with daily use like i’m a goth i wear heavy black eyeshadow on my eyelids every time i do my makeup and i haven’t had to replace it in years. “but foundation helps people go out in public because they have low self-confidence!” is a myth, and just because it’s a coping mechanism doesn’t mean it’s a good one like it will in the long run make you think your naked face is lacking which is fucked up because it’s your FACE. there’s nothing wrong with it and the industry that is selling you the foundation that “empowers” you is actively working to make sure you need to be empowered 

“let’s totally erase cultural makeup!! you’re evil and mean!” i know the reading comprehension on this site is low but come on you know that’s not what i’m talking about at all. ah yes the ancestral and sacred practice of contouring your face and covering every single blemish you’ve ever had because god forbid someone sees you have acne like a real human person