iced beverage...

lickety is basically the most classic thing to split

I hate when people describe not IMMEDIATELY responding as “ghosting.” Like “they totally ghosted me, and then when they finally texted back three hours later…” stop right there. That is not ghosting. I will teach you the meaning of ghosting

Can you tell me

please

hello?

to catch a bus you have to think like a bus

not the bell tolling LMAOOOO 🙈 i wonder for whom 🤔

Ive made a new game its called the drink yo self to death game the rules are take a shot every time a new fcking ugly bitch from krakow trys to steal my man on whatsapp

There was really no winning that one

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

I’m not anti porn or whatever but I just want y’all to know sex is of the devil and so is the moving picture

she took the ladders in the divorce

can someone help me get down

can not pick this burrito up bc its heavy and im scared it’ll bust a fat burrito nut if i lift it so its positioned like a meat obelisk for me to deepthroat

Everything about this statement turned me on……

Would you like to publically role play sex about it?

:/ i wish “bad guy” by billie eilish came out 7 years ago :(

explain

Reblog if you wish it came out seven (7) years ago (2016)

just made the worst pizza ever

for every reblog on this post i will eat one plastic bag so the turtles dont have to

Hospital.

for every reblog on this post i will eat one plastic bag so wizardpotions doesn't have to

for every reblog on this post i will eat one turtle so it can't eat a plastic bag

for every reblog on this post i will eat one tumblr user so they can't eat plastic bags or turtles