Izzy🌈

If you go alone, don’t bring a flashlight. You’ll see things you don’t want to.

Don’t bring groups bigger than 12.

Bring water and some snacks, but no wine.

If you have to sleep there, sleep in the sanctuary, but not on a pew.

If you try to read the hymnal, the words won’t be english anymore.

The Bibles will be blank until you confess.

Don’t go into the confession booth. The man talking to you is not the priest, and you don’t want to know what he really is.

The cross on the wall changes locations, don’t look at it for too long.

If you see someone praying at the altar, don’t approach them. If they approach you, don’t talk to them. Leave immediately.

If you hear the organ playing while you’re in the basement, know that your time is running out.

If it plays while you’re in the sanctuary, your time is up.

Take whatever you want, but if you find that one of your possesions is missing, don’t look for it. Let them have it. It’s not worth your life.

If you find a rosary, don’t put it on. It won’t help.

The water isn’t holy anymore. Throwing it on the demons in the shadows won’t work.

Drink the wine if you wish to never leave.

Don’t get seperated from your friends.

If you spend the night, leave at sunrise otherwise you’ll enter another plane of reality with no way back.

If you don’t spend the night, leave through the doors you came in.

You might look behind you after leaving and see that the church isn’t there anymore. It means that they took what they wanted.

space customs

tow trucks except they’re towing illegally parked spaceships

for that matter, spaceship thieves, if only for how much more effort i imagine that would take

irs agents who have to find tax evaders who went 2 or 3 galaxies over

literally everything about the concept of the space version of the dmv

imagine being the person who teaches hapless 16 year olds how to fly a spaceship

people who analyze Old Earth media for a living the same way people now analyze shakespeare or beowulf, aka a bunch of scholarly and serious academics writing papers arguing the true meaning of Mean Girls and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and A Very Potter Musical

cruise spaceships. you’re taking a slow tour of saturn’s rings and people are still complaining about you running out of cocktail sauce

Gas station attendant, but in space. You thought earth truck stops were liminal? Try pausing to refuel on an asteroid hurtling though the middle of inky-black nowhere. You’d see some interesting folks pass through, though

Imagine working at a space hotel, for that matter

IT workers who deal with tech that can communicate across the multiverse, rearrange people’s molecules, and communicate with ancient eldritch gods…….and 9 out of 10 problems can still be fixed with “read the instruction manual” or “did you turn it off and back on again”

let’s players. people’s love of video games and screaming profanity at said video games transcends galaxy and species lines

the post office. bravest people in ‘verse. though they did have to change their creed. it’s now: “neither snow nor rain nor heat nor black holes nor meteor showers nor solar flares stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds…”

also, food delivery peeps. all the above danger + dealing with more drunk aliens.

SPACE UBER

tourist traps. “welcome to the galaxy’s biggest ball of yarn. yes, it’s this one, not the one on mars. the martians are filthy liars and they’ve always been jealous of our superior attraction.”

science museum tour guides. the museums have gotten…….very big. it’s a very exhausting job, but it’s so worth it when the field trips full of kids from various galaxies get all excited

human: *smugly* garlic bread

human, flipping on the light switch and folding their arms and glaring: you realise it's 2am in the fucking morning?

So if were talking about slavery or how women were treated as literal property, we cant make a statement about how that was a bad thing because the times were different.

Then she had time to wait outside for the uber this poor man drove to come pick her up. Then she got in his back seat and stabbed him multiple times, pushed him out onto the street, and stole the car. He was able to tell the police who stabbed him before he died. She then crashes the car and is found by the police hiding behind a tree covered in blood. The police try to gently coerce her into dropping her fucking blood covered knives and when she refuses do they shoot her eight times? Oh noooo Lizzy Borden gets tazed and brought in unharmed.

The white guy who took weapons to a convention and planned to kill Jason David Frank and multiple police officers was taken alive.

The white guy who murdered two men who had tried to defend the Muslim women he was harassing was taken alive.