"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"
"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"
"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."
"Nobody's there?"
"Nobody's not there!"
"So everyone's there?"
"Everybody but nobody!"

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Claire Keane

if i look back, i am lost
Doug Jones
Misplaced Lens Cap
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Origami Around

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@elder-dryas
"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"
"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"
"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."
"Nobody's there?"
"Nobody's not there!"
"So everyone's there?"
"Everybody but nobody!"

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when I was a kid I thought the weather guy on TV controlled the weather and he was just telling us what he was gonna do for the next few days. when he said "30% chance of rain Thursday" I thought he was just guessing how likely it was he'd wake up in a rain mood that morning
I feel like I need to explain. there was a whole internal logic here. there was fucking worldbuilding. I knew there were different weather people on the news in different places and I thought each one was the weather decider for their local area. I knew the word "meteorologist" and thought it was a scientist who had expertise in weather control technology. I never questioned why there was bad weather sometimes because "bad weather" was subjective, after all, I liked cloudy days and snow. and the plants need rain, right? so I figured the weather guy probably had regular meetings with local farmers and gardeners to make sure the amount of precipitation and sunlight we were getting was working out for the crops. I never spoke about this to anyone, because I thought everyone knew. at some point my parents had said "this guy on TV tells us what kind of weather we're going to have" and I misunderstood exactly one fundamental point and built out an enormous set of logical conclusions from there. this lasted from like age 3 to age 6 btw
tags from someone recently reincarnated from a life as a mantis shrimp
Truly animals are some of the most numerous creatures of earth
Count em
Well first of all there's this guy
Nothing wrong with me
I think whatever she’s doing with her mouth when she says “jail” counts as a linguolabial lateral approximant
/jɚ gənə hæft| goʊ t| ʤeɪl̼/
alright i am sick of yt to mp4 sites being shady and full of viruses and finding websites that seem to be working and then don't work (looking at you y232 (no hate, just frustrated))
so HERE'S HOW YOU DOWNLOAD YOUTUBE VIDEOS WITH VLC!! VLC FREAKIN RULES!!
get your youtube link
open vlc, go to media > open network stream
paste your url in the box and PRESS PLAY!
wait for the video to open then go to tools > codec information
copy the entire file location (click the box, then ctrl-a to select all, then ctrl-c to copy)
paste into your browser of choice (i use firefox)
right click video and press "save video as", choose your file format if you want
DONE! NO VIRUSES OR SKETCHY STUFF!
the quality might be a little crummy but if you don't mind that, then shabam! video on your computer! then you can email it to yourself and have it on your phone too if you want! if you need a guide with pictures wikihow has you covered my friends
happy downloading and stay safe on the internet :D

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I live my life thinking the perfect conversation doesn’t exist and then tumblr drops this in my lap.
I got a phone call from the police station about my teenage llama this week, telling me some tourists had called them upon seeing a llama crossing the road, who “stopped when she saw us” and “refused to give way” (their complaint in French sounded amazingly traffic-related, “elle n’a pas cédé le passage”…) The policeman told them yeah that’s our Pampe! don’t worry about it she’s living her life, you can try to pet her but she’s shy with strangers… Imagine calling the police about a llama refusing to abide by basic road rules and being told haha that’s our girl! Give her a pat for me! Pampérigouste, you are very annoying and very loved.
I started following that road looking for her, occasionally calling her with my special I Come Bearing Muesli whistle (and it was a lie), and as soon as I got mobile reception I received a text from a neighbour telling me “Ton affreuse est là” (“your horrible one is here”). I turned around to go pick her up, and discovered that he had locked her in the Horny Bull Pen, aka his most securised enclosure. When Pampe escapes to his farm just to be a pest she usually hangs out with his cows until I arrive and he doesn’t mind, so it was a little joke, and it was so funny finding Pampe languishing in a high-security prison. She looked very put out and I told her she absolutely deserved her sentence. Then I opened the gate and I didn’t even need my rope, she was happy to be pardoned and to see Pandolf, and followed us readily, on the road and then through the woods to my farm, it felt so companionable, the three of us walking home together.
oh this is such a happy tale
DEPLOY THE BOY
ALL BOYS DEPLOYED
me: no, so while black ops is technically a direct sequel to world at war, it's really doing its own thing, minus the reznov connection, and later installments are just fully unrelated tbh. anyway, while the original modern warfare was playing around with evoking iraq war imagery, and to a lesser extent some bosnian war stuff, the reboot is heavily focused on the isis era of the war on terror, including a bunch of stuff with us-backed local militias that's, in my opinion, based on the ypg, but of course ideologically neutered and fighting russia instead. all of this loops around to my main point,
my purgatory cellmate:
purgatory guard: no suicide
purgatory cellmate: i wasn't
This astounds me because imagine her leveling with sponfebob like this. Recognizing that he understand what she’s saying. He is an adult sponge and she knows this. He acts like a little gay bitch and he is one but she’s like cut the crap Robert don’t you go sticking that long ass nose into kitchens it doesn’t belong because you can’t handle the heat you can’t handle what I’m cooking. The implications. He can’t handle it, because he’s a pansy, and that she knows he’s a pussy and that he knows he’s a pussy. He’s too soft for her world. Puff has been in state penn. she has been in and out of the system and she THRIVED in it. Her husband is DEAD. He’s a LAMP. She has committed grand larceny and vehicular manslaughter as well as evasion of police and resisting arrest. She’s probably assaulted an officer. Don’t fuck with her. You can’t handle the answer sponfebob so don’t even ask. Go home to your little fruit, get into your three mattress bed and turn off the lights. You are CANONICALLY homosexual.

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A collection
I think this might be a masterpiece
doing a tumblr meetup on B site
hey guys whats up
wtffffff
Babygirl you are preventing me from fast traveling

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josh?
where’s the body of christ?
Im neva coming back to this scary ass country