eclecticandpoetic

First of all, just go to a barbershop instead of a hair salon, if you can. It’s cheaper anyway, and you’re far more likely to get what you want from either a place where every employee has ten tattoos minimum, or from someone who’s mis-aging you not misgendering you

Barring that, e.g. If there’s only one shop nearby or your parents control where you go, pick the stylist with the wildest hair or most tattoos

If you can do so, make yourself sound like a huge lesbian the whole time. I could never get a middle aged white woman to actually take clippers my head if I hadn’t already talked about my (usually imaginary) girlfriend

If you like having your hair clipped/shaved, find out what numbers they use on you next time someone does it right, then tell everyone moving forward. Some still won’t believe you, but saying “I want a 2 into a 5” was always a lot more effective than “I want it shaved up”

Don’t tell them it’s fine until it is. I know this is something we’re socialized into accepting but this is true regardless of who you are and what hair cut you’re getting. If you’re not satisfied, say so. So what if they get annoyed? They’re not doing their job right. You’re paying for a service, you deserve it done the way you want.

On a related note, bribery will get you everywhere. If you live in a place where tipping is normal, and you can afford it, then come prepared with extra cash. If they do it right without you complaining, tip them well and say “hey, you’re the only stylist who’s actually listened, thank you.” If they need more convincing - especially if your parents are the ones paying and you know they’re trying not to piss them off - pull out a $10 or so and go “look, seriously, I will tip you extra if you just cut it boy-short”. It motivated a few ladies for me, when it was an option.

If all else fails, make up a reason you need it that short. You’re playing a character in the school play. You want to piss off your parents/ex/sister. Protest. “My friend has cancer and I want to make her feel less alone”. Yeah, lying sucks, but sometimes you gotta.

As a real life stylist I cannot stress this enough. This is the most important part of the cut because if you’re smiling in the chair and crying at home it means I’m not doing my job.

And I also second the barber shop for the first haircut because once you come in with short hair and tell a stylist you want it shaved back down the majority of them won’t hesitate.

Until my neck subluxated and now I can’t sleep on that side without compressing some vital nerves and blood arteries. I also can’t sleep on my back right now because the pressure compresses my occipital nerve. Basically sleeping has been a nightmare recently, but that’s not the point of this post.

The point was I brought this up in physical therapy to talk about how great this pillow is because I can now sleep on my right side without the stupid thing going numb or waking me up because it hurts. And my PT was like wow, great! How did you sleep on your left side for so long without it being an issue?

And I said, oh that’s easy. I just tuck that shoulder out of the way.

And she said, ...what?

And I said, yeah, I just tuck it out the way. Not like my right shoulder. That one doesn’t move as well. It just hurts, I think there’s something wrong with it.

And my physical therapist asked me to demonstrate what I mean when I say I ‘tuck my shoulder out of the way,’ and haha, you’re never going to believe this, turns out I’ve just been casually pulling my left shoulder out of the socket for, oh, let’s see, 30 years? And then napping on it like hmmnm yess comfy.

Anyway. I looked up from my demonstration and my physical therapist was making this face:

I felt like a toddler being gentle parented by a mother doing her absolute best to use her “gentle” voice and not yell after watching their child lick a fork and attempt to stick it in an electrical outlet.

Turns out that rheumatologist who said I had zero hypermobility and just needed to exercise more was full of shit. We already knew this. But it’s good to have it reconfirmed.

“Normal” range can vary a lot and some people can go farther back than that without causing issues. I think up to 60 degrees is considered within “normal” range but don’t quote me on that, I’m in pain and trying to remember what my PT told me yesterday.

As we can see on the right, the person with EDS and cranial instability is going much much farther back. Kaitlyn is considered severe enough she’s had numerous surgeries and wears a neck brace and you can see how Not Good it looks.

My neck goes back about the same if I let it. Which explains some things… Basically:

wait i literally never never thought that hearing your bones crack when you tilted your head back far enough was a unique thing. i have to poll this

The most human thing we have is language, and we have it in order to speak.