bros before van goghs

having edgy ocs is soooo embarassing like yeah this is johnny... he.. kills people... yeah with a knife and theres blood and stuff yeah... sorry i know...

hey can we talk about the fact that during our last battle that strange wizard we let join the party shouted "evil blast!" and then black lightning bursted from their fingertips?

She’s our highest dps right now I don’t really care what kind of blasts she’s firing. She can blast in my mouth next for all I care as long as she’s still carrying

Contact Other Plane really is such a perfect wizard and warlock spell, because it truly encapsulates the hubris of those classes. It's the most extreme "fuck around and find out" spell. It's like, you can make a collect call out of this world. You might get some answers, but you also might go insane for trying it. You'll be fine in the morning, though. You will learn nothing from this experience.

girlwizards are an endangered species and should be protected by the federal government

federal government needs to be protected from me

girlwizards are an invasive species and must be put down. sad!

characters will be like “i had a strange dream... probably nothing” like girl you're literally in a story

how am i supposed to cast a concentration spell under these conditions.

The hilarious part is that the mind flayers don’t even get to control the rats afterwards. Cranium rats’ whole deal is telepathically linking up into a super-intelligent hive mind, and while each individual rat still has the stat block of an ordinary rat, the gestalt as a whole is capable of having class levels. So now you’ve got a swarm of rats that is collectively a 20th level wizard, has a higher Intelligence score than you do, and is both willing and able to cast meteor swarm on your tentacled ass if they think you’re disrespecting them. How well did that work out for you, pal?

hey does this mean someone could play as a swarm of cranium rats in a trench coat?

I know somebody who actually did play a cranium rat swarm barbarian in an ongoing campaign several years back. I’m about 90% convinced they created that character purely as an excuse to shout “RAT RAGE”.

I had a player once play a swarm of cranium rats as, indeed, a wizard. they were incredibly egotistical and wore a full sized wizard cape over the whole swarm. on top of the tiny ones each rat wore. i will always love Lord Rodentius Squeakeasy

Despite all my rage I am still just a cranium rat mage

thinkin’ about girl wizards again

NOT witches. witches are responsible and ecologically knowledgeable and stuff like that. wizards are like “hee hoo i am going to do inadvisable magics”