Selectively Straight

why the FUCK is there a big spider on my bedroom wall it doesn't look like any spider i've ever seen in my entire life what the fuck

are you sure it's a spider?

oh that's a wolf spider. they taste like celery and pork and they aren't poisonous.

why is it in my room

and why do you know what it tastes like

@sicklythiasus why do you know what a wolf spider tastes like

nom nom.

what

yummy yummy in my tummy tummy

when and why did you eat a wolf spider

why was your solution to eat them

i mean, no one else was gonna.

World Heritage Post

why are all the actual real human jobs like baker and florist and childcare worker barely paying livable wages but the fake jobs like ai specialist boot licker or marketing campaign dick sucker making six figures

do you guys remember “kick his ass baby i got yo flower”

this is like asking a medieval christian monk if he remembers the ten commandments like if not what have I been wasting my years learning

High chance we are in the evil dimension, guys.

No shit dumbass

I am going to nibble off your ligaments

No one in the nice dimension says stuff like this.

Going to the zoo today perhaps I'll treat myself with a flattened penny... Perhaps I'll indulge myself, andget a flattened penny

sorry for being indecisive, I haven’t had any prophetic dreams to guide me in a while