Provalone

atheists call it project hail darwin

agnostics call it project hail maybe

having a snuggable animal in your home is like a constant minigame of ancestral persistence hunting, every morning this beast is getting yoinked from various parts of the house to indulge our daily ritual of bringing him back to bed for cuddling purposes. im like the doom guy in hell meme but instead of ronald reagan im looking for my cat

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

being the last one to send a message before the chat falls into sudden silence always feels like u just made the worst faux pas of your life and you go sorry guys was that weird and they're all like no sorry I was just looking at a leaf on tbe ground leaf.jpg like oh ok

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

wow this pizza is great it's so good it's unreal *remembers the unreal engine is dogshit* I mean uh it's Source how good this pizza is

me taking off my rad scooby doo fashion piece

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

i met this stripper last weekend and she gave me CRAZYYYYY head

THE FEDERATION FORCES COULD NEVER DO THIS