Find A Nicer Way To Kill It

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

guy at an art museum standing in front of a completely innocuous and somewhat boring painting muttering “what does it mean? what does it all mean?” in an increasingly distressed tone

you hear him say “I don’t understand it, I can’t understand it” as he stumbles away from a very plain still life painting of wine and fruit with his head in his hands

as you are exiting the museum, you spot him in the cafe eating a slice of cake and looking perfectly content

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

basically unavoidable when your social group is 98% autistic but it’s so irritating when a topic comes up and someone immediately moves to establish dominance and take ownership of knowing about the subject. kinksters especially are guilty of this tbh... there’s a lot of overlap with the phenomenon of people assuming they’re the only queer neurodivergent person on tumblr. we know about bdsm okay.

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

i wonder if any of you consider how tiring it gets to hear over and over that you didn’t say the perfect thing that pleases everybody and offends nobody before you hit ask like do you always say the perfect thing? how often have you said the perfect thing? what does it cost you?

we've sent 2,500 senior dogs to a six week Javascript bootcamp using the funds we raised from our ransomware operation. and that's just the beginning. starting next month every fruit will be different

once in a while it actually is pretty helpful when americans tell me very frankly just how bad it is like especially in the more rural and impoverished or lbr black and immigrant communities because the whole propaganda of the US being this ultra developed nation of dreamers who can make it happen is so powerful that i’ll say something like “oh my god please give birth in a hospital” as a blanket statement and i genuinely did forget for a moment that this alleged developed nation, so powerful so strong, will rake you over the coals and rob you blind just to have a baby or get any routine procedure like oh my god it’s surreal to me that they make you live like that. nobody hit me or yell at me please

canada isn’t even that great that’s the rub here but i’m still always like… they dumped radioactive waste after mining near your hometown and never cleaned it up and everybody’s getting cancer and now you haven’t had potable water for how long?? because genuinely what do you mean that’s happening in a country that’s an hour drive south to me