im a dyke who loves hanzo

the first thing you'll learn about me is that I'm a funny guy

the second thing you'll learn about me is that I'm always in some kind of nightmarish torture hell dimension

mr president sir i have to inform you with my sincerest regret that the special agent we sent to retrieve your daughter was killed in action. she has been confirmed dead. yeah we- yeah we should have seen it coming that the crotchless anubis leather harness would leave him vulnerable to, vulnerable to being grabbed ahold of by a sloppy critter, yes. horrific oversight. i'm so sorry sir

she was so real for this

tumblr staff says that if we don't buy $17,000 in crabs by 10 p.m. the whole website is going to be shut down by hotel management and all the guests are going to have to go home

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intense mosh pit going on at the punk concert and I'm standing in the center dancing like a peanuts character completely untouched as the crowd rages around me

you didnt put a nametag on your boyfriend and he despawned. sorry.