the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

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@dwqjepop
the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

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ACTUALLY heres another one i quickly animated of rocky beating the shit out of grace
heβs gay for real. isnβt that so awesome
auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"
going over to my minimalist girlfriendβs house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and thereβs just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
Blue Lois
can i help you
Red Marge
jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack
World Heritage Post
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didnβt try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had βthe official letter hβ add on to this post. you wanna know that blogβs gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

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rocky learning about last names is one of the most stressful days of grace's life on the way to erid.
it starts with them watching a movie, maybe the devil wears prada, and a little way through the movie rocky asks why miranda has two names. is it because she's more important?
grace, already anticipating a long conversation, says no, all humans have two names. everyone's just scared of miranda because her two names are really well known.
"grace have another name and not tell rocky?!" rocky asks, incensed. "what names mean, question? why two?"
"well," grace explains, "your first name is the name your parents give you at birth. usually people call you by your first name, especially if you're close. except in... some situations, i guess," he says, remembering stratt's vat. nobody had called him ryland there, but he still felt pretty close to all of them.
"and second name?" rocky prompts.
"right - last names correlate to your family. when you're born, you take your family name so that people know who you're related to. it also helps differentiate between two people with the same first name."
"so what grace last name, question?" rocky asks. grace blanches a little.
"uhh... grace is my last name, rock," he says, sheepishly.
"what?!" rocky yells. grace winces. "grace not tell rocky grace first name? grace not close with rocky? grace hate rocky?"
"no!" grace protests. "of course i don't hate you! don't say that!" maybe it's stupid, but grace does actually feel a little hurt by the insinuation.
"then why not tell rocky?!"
grace sighs. "i don't know, rock. i mean - when i met you i barely knew up from down, much less what my name meant to me. and i kept getting these memories and everyone kept calling me grace, and i just, i haven't been called ryland in so long it doesn't really feel like my name anymore."
rocky ruminates on this for a moment. then: "...ryland is grace first name, question?"
"yeah."
"rocky like grace better." grace deflates with relief. "yeah, me too, buddy."
"but," rocky says, "rocky want last name too now."
huh. okay, then.
"i guess i could figure that out," grace agrees. "we could give you movie rocky's last name? you wanna be rocky balboa?"
"mm, no," rocky says.
"okay, well we could go region based, i guess. where'd you grow up? i can make up something fitting, or i can look something up on my computer, i'm sure there's places on earth that are similar to places on erid -"
"no," rocky interrupts. "want grace."
"...huh?"
"rocky want grace last name."
grace is suddenly feeling very, very flushed. "you what??"
"last name is family name, question?"
"well, yeah, but -"
"and rocky grace family now. so rocky want grace family name!"
...well, when he says it like THAT, it's so much more innocent. grace... well, he agrees, because what else is he gonna say? that rocky should know that that that's as good as a marriage proposal?
no, that takes too much cultural context, and a longer conversation than he wants to have right now. easier to just let rocky have it. it's not like there'll be any consequences to bite him in the ass, right?
(wrong.)
rocky on the trip back to erid: *in his xenonite ball* "when my crew all died of radiation poisoning you were just being born isnt that weird"
grace, touch starved and drunk off the last of Ilyukhina's vodka: "can yuo burn me again"
does anyone want to see a really good picture of my kitty cat
not a cat, first off
snale
You know, as the concept of βzombifying fungiβ becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a βbrain parasite.β So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)
Itβs funny how many people are replying βbut thatβs worse!β like you didnβt know thatβs exactly why I put a smiley
Rocky mate bad as hell, statement

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so i watch spn at double speed when i'm getting screenshots and i. i just
(thank u @srslysims !)
I forgot what I wanted to write down here.
[part 1] [part 2]
rocky learns about the Denmark incident :]
Rocky was going to say "fans of PHM" but Grace panicked! π³οΈβπ
BONUS PANEL
my personal take on the matter

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the domestic forger life
this is so stupid and they wouldnt do this but i cant stop thinking about it. go my terrible yaoi ship that 6 people like
there's no way around it... gay sex is necessary for world peace