clown house

sometimes I think the world is ending and then I remember people have thought the world is going to end within their lifetime for at least 1,500 years and they were all wrong and had to live through this bullshit anyway

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

having a body made of meat sucks ass

kill dorothy fuck the lion marry the tin man and i dont care about the other one

people who do a PhD are running from something

Yeah it’s called a 9-to-5

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

EVERYONE get in the tags rn and tell me your favorite cheese