Ellie

overall 10. already grasping at straws btw. and now let's see how they look like:

head. only one among many other (male) heads too

barely sculpted. her face is indistinguishable

she looks like a roll?? again poorly made

smoll

no comments. this is one of the most famous russian poets btw (akhmatova)

just sad. hardly even a monument, literally put in a corner

some kind of experimental arthouse. while this style has its place, i don't think this is the proper way to make monuments for great people.

the only semi-decent are:

i actually read her book when i was about twelve years old, in the most shocking and probably only example of me ever being ahead of a trend, and even at twelve i really loved everything she said. at that point in time i lived in fear of my mother's threats that she would come and throw everything away while i was school, and my small and very adhd mind simply could not grasp the concept of "have less stuff". have less of WHICH stuff? how? i'd never actually been taught how to clean my room besides being told "pick up stuff" and "be organized", and as she points out multiple times, cleaning is not an intuitive thing. it's a learned behavior and skill.

anyways. her entire philosophy centers on surrounding yourself with things that you love, and only things that you love (or things that you absolutely need). she explicitly says over and over again that it is not about throwing things away, it is not about minimalism, it is not about "what is the smallest amount possible that you can survive on". she literally has a whole section where she talks about how hard it can be to throw things away when you've lived in poverty all your life and you don't have absolute confidence that you can replace something that you really needed if it gets thrown out, even though you're not likely to ever really need it--you've just been conditioned to think that because that's literally how you survive, when you're poor. she talks about how that mindset can serve and how it can damage. she talks about how minimalism is sort of a rich people thing, cause they can afford to throw everything away.

"Why does cropped clothing feel inherently so much more feminine??"

If and when that does happen I hope the female monster actually gets to look ugly and monstrous, don’t give us this shit

and in the end it never pays off. even if sabrina and megan hadn't been cheated on, eventually they would've been old and discarded. side note that i highly recommend the movie The Substance (came out this year) that deals with themes of obsession with appearance, oversexualisation and ageing from a woman's perspective.

Here’s what I keep wondering: Does J.Lo remember anything from that night? Could she focus on the speeches, the performances, the friends sitting around her? Honestly, how could she think about anything besides whether her breasts still had just the right amount of coverage? What happened when she sat down? Did she have to suck her stomach in? Can you even sit down in that dress? How much of a distraction must wearing that dress have been?

As fashions exposed more of the body, they required more body monitoring. Once the legs were exposed, they needed to be smooth and hair-free. As clothing became tighter through the torso (not just the waist), the whole torso needed to become slim. What seemed like greater freedom in terms of clothing actually in some ways translated into more restrictions. Sure, you can bare your arms and legs. You can wear jeans. But now you have to worry about how your arms and legs look. And now those jeans you love reveal the exact shape of your butt. Your freedom to wear a bikini means you have to worry about the size of your thighs. Chronic body monitoring is a ridiculous price to pay for fashion, but as women, we pay it all the time in dozens of different ways. I don’t want young women to feel shame about their bodies. I don’t want them to be called sluts when they wear what fashion moguls have decided to be the in style of the season. They should be able to wear whatever they are comfortable wearing. But how comfortable are they? We should have the freedom to dress how we see fit, but we should also have the freedom to be present in the moment. If we are to monitor ourselves, I want us to be able to monitor our thoughts and feelings, our desires and goals, not our appearance.

Women's stage outfits are often underwears or swimsuits nowadays. And it's interesting to compare it to what the men are wearing.

Things haven't changed for men. They are still allowed to wear comfortable and dignifying clothes. But for women, things are getting worse.

To answer some of your interrogations (though you answered some yourself) I’d say this: 

First, to be famous, rich and powerful under a male supremacy you have to play by men’s rules. That means that the power you’ve gained can be taken away if you stop following these rules. It’s borrowed power if you will. Yes, they have the freedom to say no, but if they want to stay famous, wealthy and trendy, they have to please men.

In the entertainment industry, popularity is key. Since men own most of the world's wealth, industries and medias, they can decide what's popular, they create the trends, not women. So if pornography and sexism are popular then your job depends on riding that wave.

The more powerful a woman is, the more women in general gain power, the more men require of us acts of submission and contrition, to make sure we’re not threatening their supremacy. In this pornified and image saturated culture, these acts rely on self objectification mostly, as well as shocking obscenity. That's how you end up with Lady Gaga joining a gala in a big dress only to take it off and pose in her underwear as if on a porn set. In the middle of men fully clothed and laughing.

Women whose income depends on going viral have to do this the most: reality TV stars, models, pop singers and the like. And by “this” I mean wearing outrageous clothing, doing degrading things, staging scandals, imitating pornography, etc. Because their fanbase, and the current cultural climate, is frivolous. It’s tabloid culture on steroids.

Second, the objectification of these women’s bodies was always part of the deal when they started gaining fame. You think Rihanna’s success depends on her talent? You think if Beyonce was fat, butch and unattractive she’d be where she is now? You think any of the women here were chosen only for their talent? No. Their sex appeal is most of what we’re sold. Their talent, whatever it is, acting, singing, performing, speaking, hosting, comes second to their attractiveness according to men. That’s why on talent shows you end up with half of the judge pannel composed of ugly old men and the other half of young (or bottox filled) hypersexualized women.

Third, when you say maybe “there is a contractual enforcement”, the answer is yes, there is. It’s all product placement. Celebrities willing to remain so no matter what become puppets. That video of Paris Hilton and Jimmy Fallon pretending to be excited to have bought a NFT, a picture of a cartoon monkey, is the best demonstration of (failed) product placement via celebrities. You can see the strings so clearly it hurts. Go watch it if you haven't.

What they wear is often chosen by their stylists, managers, companies, producers, even their day to day clothes, especially if paparazzis are around. Brands pay celebrities to wear their clothing lines and promote their products. I find it especially obvious in Kpop. All of the sudden you’ll see all the idols of the same company wear the same brand, or even the same shirt, that’s because they are advertising these products as part of their contract. That’s why on the red carpet journalists are ordered to ask “who are you wearing?” and the celebrity (usually a woman) has to name the brand or creator. That’s not small talk, that’s advertisement, product placement. Same reason celebrities are invited to specific parties or fashion shows. Same reason they make specific posts on social media. It’s business masquerading as entertainment or personal choices.

So if the current most powerful trends are dictated by pornography, women are gonna have to wear pornographic outfits and act like prostituted women if they want to keep their jobs and sell whatever they have to sell. And the fact that even the most famous, wealthy and powerful women end up in this position is a clear indicator of the state of women's freedom as a whole.

While it's great and certainly refreshing to get a break from the Britney Spears-era "I'm obsessed with men" vibes of the early 2000s, a lot of young people (specifically girls) are deluding themselves into thinking that these celebrities are the new beacons of empowerment. Billie and Chappell are both definitely counter-culture in some ways (huge respect to Billie for speaking out against porn), but they're still not THAT much of a deviation from toxic celebrity culture.

It goes without saying that they try a lot less to appeal to the male gaze. But... they are still two beautiful women who DO fit the male standard. If they were butch or ugly or fat, they WOULD NOT be as popular as they are. It has very little to do with their musical ability or their queerness or their rebelliousness.

The music and entertainment industries know their audiences well. Are we all going to kid ourselves that they didn't realise that queerness is the "in" thing now? They saw the big companies sponsoring the pride parades. They knew this was the new wave to ride. Ultimately, the people profiting the most from Billie and Chappell's popularity are MEN.

Not saying this to throw shade at Billie and Chappell specifically, but they are not our friendly sapphic friends, they are not just like everyone else. They were put where they are for a reason, and as soon as the next trends come along they'll be washed up, just like Britney Spears is now.

We could have been in the same room together with women talking about how they innocently just discovered 4B, and have absolutely no idea that we are ideologically aligned.

I'm not sure what to do about this because as much as I would like to be brave like someone like JKR and be upfront, I am not as materially comfortable and kind of need to like... survive in society as a young adult. I sometimes think about starting local radfem groups (I am an event planner and have more than a few ideas of how to go about this!!), but then I think about how I would instantly lose both my jobs and a few friends if I was public like that about being a radfem.

We could have been in the same room together with women talking about how they innocently just discovered 4B, and have absolutely no idea that we are ideologically aligned.

I'm not sure what to do about this because as much as I would like to be brave like someone like JKR and be upfront, I am not as materially comfortable and kind of need to like... survive in society as a young adult. I sometimes think about starting local radfem groups (I am an event planner and have more than a few ideas of how to go about this!!), but then I think about how I would instantly lose both my jobs and a few friends if I was public like that about being a radfem.

Waxing is straight up painful, and shaving leaves my legs so itchy I scratch them all red and swollen. Hair growing back is literally SO itchy?? I refuse to believe its just me, but all I have to hear from my peers is how ✨HAIRLESS LEGS✨ on fresh sheets feel ✨SO GOOD✨. There's literally no room for other opinions.

No. They can be better. And they are morally worse and more corrupt for it. Men can choose to fight the patriarchy and treat their female counterparts with respect and dignity. But they choose not to, because they can reap the same or more societal benefits by being misogynistic.

Baby boys aren’t born misogynistic. Sure, they may be born with whatever male hormonal differences do, but that isn’t even 1% of the reason why they grow up to be misogynists.

As they grow up they learn that misogyny is rewarded. As they grow up they are exposed to porn which they choose to use as a sexual role model. As they grow up they watch their parents model a hierarchal power dynamic. They see all of this, and they like it. They choose it for themselves.

I think that men can change for the better. People here hear this and say “you can’t teach them” or “coddling them won’t do shit” and I agree. What women need to do is stop rewarding and enabling their behavior.

We need to free women from human trafficking and exploitation, and we also need to convince women who make porn of their own free will to stop. We need to punish the men who make it. We need to help women out of their abusive marriages, and we also need to convince women who are in relationships with even slightly misogynistic men to end them. We need to have zero tolerance for casual misogyny. We need to start shunning men who are misogynists. We need to hold accountable women who are enabling the men in their lives to hurt other women. Shun men who watch porn. Shun men who say slurs. Stop having their children.

And for the men sympathetic to our cause, we need to convince them to use their privilege as men to further feminist goals. We need them to vote for women’s rights. We need them to intervene during “locker room” misogynistic talk when women aren’t around. We need them to break up the male solidarity around misogyny in a way only they can do.

But we can’t do this as individuals. Strength comes in numbers. Women do face societal consequences for standing up to misogyny. Other women need to defend her and provide for her needs. And in order to do this we need to educate ourselves. Make money. Be independent of men. Become doctors, lawyers, teachers. We need to do everything we can to support women in places where they cannot do these things.

If we can do all of this, men will change. Maybe not the men who are already set in their ways. But those growing up will see that misogyny does not reward them in life. They will not see porn. They will not see their mothers submitting to their fathers and they will not see women submitting to men. And they will choose to treat women as human beings. Because they can.

it is only when I reread second wave feminists that I find hope again. they were not doomerists, they were determined to create change, and in many ways they did. we need to challenge that same energy. all is not lost.

The message of “YOU SHOULD BE KIND TO WOMEN AROUND YOU” seems to be a really hard pill to swallow and I honestly don’t know why. Self proclaimed feminists on here still message me saying I deserve to get assaulted for having male friends. I do think my desire for male friendship is driven by internalized misogyny but I also think I’m a human woman entitled to basic respect and empathy and it’s extremely disheartening when other feminists treat me this way.

I feel like it’s very tantalizing to critique women because men just don’t listen when they’re criticized by women…because they don’t care. Women do care and will listen so it’s easier to critique them. But too often feminists fall into the trap of just hurling more hatred towards other women, especially online, and I think it’s an incredibly toxic part of online feminist communities and it needs to end.

I stopped shaving completely about a year ago and recently wore a skirt in front of my mom

She pointed out the hair and I said, “yeah I just don’t see the appeal in spending all that time removing it when it’s not hurting me”

The other day she pulled up her pants leg to show me she hasn’t shaved them in that 2 weeks since

She’s not ready to show it off but the fact she stopped for 2 weeks after like 30+ years of consistent hair removal blew my mind a little bit

Sometimes all you have to do is treat it like it’s a normal no brainer and it’ll click in some other women’s minds

my best friend is a radfem but for years she did not talk to me about it. I dated an abusive man, wore makeup, said I wasn't a feminist, etc. and she never made me feel judged for it. she was there to support me and be my friend, because that was what I needed at that time. if she had started talking to me about feminism, I probably would have stopped talking to her.

thanks to her and other women in my life who uplifted me and empowered me to get out of the abusive situation I was in, I was able to get back on my feet. then, when I discovered radical feminism on my own, it finally clicked. let women discover it for themselves. let it click for them.