I have a question... I'm completely supportive, I promise, but I do wonder how polyamory is part of the queer community if being poly is a choice?
Hi there. I'm wondering where you got the idea its a choice. Many polyamorous people do not feel it was a choice for them, myself included. Some do, but you're speaking very definitively.
And, while I mean no offense to anyone asking this in good faith, it truly baffles me that people have a hard time grasping this concept with polyamory. Let me give you a metaphor.
Lets suppose I am dating someone. I enjoy their company, they mean a lot to me🥰, and I never want to hurt them. But something feels wrong about it to me. It takes me awhile to determine what feels "off," and in the meantime I do the best I can to be loving❤️ and treat them right. Eventually, I reach the conclusion I do not feel attraction to their gender. At this point I technically have a choice: I can continue the relationship and accept I will never be fully happy, or I can leave them to date someone of the gender I'm attracted to. I have a choice, but my sexuality isn't it. You understand this.
Same scenario,
I am dating someone. I enjoy their company, they mean a lot to me🥰, and I never want to hurt them. But something feels wrong about it to me. It takes me awhile to determine what feels "off," and in the meantime I do the best I can to be loving❤️ and treat them right. Eventually, I reach the conclusion I do not feel attraction to their gender can never feel satisfied never dating anyone else. At this point I technically have a choice: I can continue the relationship and accept I will never be fully happy, or I can leave them for someone who will allow me to date polyamorously. I have a choice, but my sexuality isn't it. You... don't understand this??
My sexuality of being bi was personally much easier to accept than my being polyamorous. The process was much the same, but it took me an additional... 8 years or so bwtween saying "I'm bi" and saying "I'm poly". I am currently much more scared to tell people (and banks and jobs and-) I'm poly than that I'm bi.
But broader than that. "Queer" being narrowly defined benefits the non-queers more than the LGBTQIA2S+ [pick your acronym inclusions]. "No hets at pride" and "no kink at pride" people have done me way more harm as a bisexual than... "straight" poly people, or people of no defined sexuality in pup masks, or generally seeing anyone I didn't think should be there. Let our proclaimed friends be friends, the better to break bread and take up arms with.🏳️🌈
And like, I don' like to prescribe definitions of words, but "Straight" comes from "straight and narrow" from the Bible. And like. I don't think many Christians (mormons excluded) would think polyamory is the path to heaven👼, because even when we're "straight", we sure as fuck aren't "narrow!" We're spreading our love far and wide!
