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@dwarvenpunk
Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably priced love! And a hard-boiled egg!

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May 25th
Every year he forgot. Well, no. He never forgot. He just put the memories away, like old silverware that you didnāt want to tarnish. And every year they came back, sharp and sparkling, and stabbed him in the heart. And today, of all daysā¦
Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
Happy 25th of May!
oh! Also I should take this opportunity to air my crack theory about Night Watch, to wit: Ned Coates is a time-traveling grown-up Young Sam.
My evidence:Ā
Ned is the only other Watchman who is new to the squad, and new to Ankh-Morpork.
He is supposedly the only person who knew the real John Keel, but he never calls Sam out for it.Ā If there ever was a real Ned Coates, and he really knew John Keel, we only have Nedās word for it.
When he and Sam spar, he fights just as dirty as Sam does, and claims John Keel taught him the tricks Sam uses himself.Ā
Heās protective of Vimesy, moreso than other Watchmen though heās known them all for the same length of time.
He is clearly up to SOMETHING; Sam thinks heās one of the real revolutionaries plotting to overthrow Winder, but none of the other revolutionaries interact with him or seem to know him that I can recall.
When Sam admits heās a time traveler, heās unfazed; his questionĀ āFrom how far back?ā would make perfect sense asĀ āfrom how far back in my timeline, where you are my dad?ā
He supposedly dies in the last fight, but Sam doesnāt see it, and Sam supposedly died in that fight too.
Lu-Tze is 100% good enough to have two time-travelers operating at the same time without breaking the timeline; he does, however, worry about the unusual strain heās creating.
So, letās say an adult Young Sam has a time-travel accident. Possibly after some sort of major falling-out with his dad, one thatās got him still pissed off at him. And now heās stuck in a vastly more shitty version of the city he grew up in, and the versions of his dad he has met so far are a) a dumb kid and b) kind of a dick. He is not having a great time. He really, really wants to go home, but first he has a revolution to see through.
Viewed that way, Ned Coates makes a lot of sense.
reblogging for the Glorious 25th, once again.
People who are in self quarantine really have no idea how weird it is to be a base level essential worker through this whole thing. I donāt mean a doctor or a nurse or someone else working round the clock to put a stop to it or find a cure. I mean a truck driver or a gas station attendant or a retail clerk. Because everything is basically normal, only a little bit off, and then again not as off as it should be.
Every day I get up. I go to work. I sell people things. There are fewer people coming through and theyāre buying more because theyāre stocking up or they havenāt been shopping in a month, but there are still lines, like always. Thereās plexiglass between the cashiers and the customers, and no dividers, and we have to continually yell at people not to put their items on the belt until weāve finished the previous transaction, and they ignore us or argue with us, same as always. The more rules we have, the more rules there are for people to ignore. And the longer it goes on, the more normal it gets. Pretty much no one thanks us for coming in to work anymore. People are starting to act like we should never, ever run out of an item. Itās just blanket assumed that we will have hand sanitizer and soap and toilet paper and people are shocked when we say weāre out.Ā But there are still ads on the TV in the break room telling us all to stay home and the more the customers ignore social distancing, the more management puts pressure on us to set a good example, until weāre expected to follow standards that are physically impossible.
The longer this goes on, the less āessentialā I feel.
And then I come home and get online as always and there are all of these people asking what youāre doing while youāre stuck in quarantine and coming up with fun things to do when youāre in quarantine and talking about what youāre going to do when this whole thing is over and you can finally, finally leave your house. Everyone just seems to assume that you, the person reading their words, are in quarantine, because everyoneās in quarantine. Itās like this big, international, universal experience that youāre not a part of.
It feels like fifteen years from now everyone in the world will be looking at each other and asking āRemember what it was like to be cooped up in the house? Wasnāt it awful?ā and Iāll just be sitting there going āā¦ā¦.no, I donāt. I didnāt do that.ā And people will look at me and wonder how I could not know.

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Everyone stop being horny on Main
Go be horny on 2nd Ave or even Market Street. Support local business whenever possible rather than big chain warehouse stores and multinational retailers that bought out all the prime locations.
Sexily, of course.
Me being horny at CA-62 and CA-177
If youāre in Portland, consider getting horny on Burnside. It bisects the city, and God knows many of us can vouch for the fact that all the cool kids are bisect-ual.
Odin is a reverse dracula
he *only* drinks....wine
Exactly! Odins are the opposite of draculas
I donāt āzone outā. Being zoned out is my default state, and I occasionally zone back in to check how things are going.
lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own
āGod may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.ā We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.
Iāve been doing this for years
Itās all on a google doc of mine (x)
āKill me. Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.ā -fucking Warrior Cats
We live in a socie-
Wait wait you forgot the mushroom post āyou canāt kill me in a way that mattersā +the following uhhhh 1 sec
I find the mushroom post :)
sorry
sorry
Can we go ahead and add āone day youāll decompose, and Iāll be there to watch it happenā to the list please
@imfunnydamit
āThere is not enough time to make all the things oneās imagination can conjureā - @reyndesign
Every single one of these quotes is going in my next grimoire
Iām really bothered by the fact that they got the movie wrong for the spykids quote -that was the second movie not the first.
So much great stuff here, but FYIĀ āhell is empty and all the devils are hereā is Shakespeare (The Tempest), so predates the others by a long shot
LGBTQ Marvel heroes in āAssemble!ā by Luciano Vecchio, from Marvelās Voices #1
Omg whaaaat

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Deep space wives for femslash februaryĀ
Happy little hearth god for to protect your blog
Sheās no man D:
me when iām in a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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What am I thinking? What does this mean? How could somebody ever love me?
People who try to tell me things areĀ ānot that deepā fundamentally misunderstand me, I am not a fish desperately in search of the ocean, I am a magpie that roves the canons, searching for shiny things to put in my nest. Whether or not it actually is given deep narrative weight by canon itself is of secondary importance to the fact that it has the potential to be interesting, and thus, I covet it.
āItās not that deepā
Maybe not originally, but the ground is soft and Iām ready to dig.
āThe ground is soft and Iām ready to digā is the best description of the fanfic attitude Iāve ever seen.Ā