Not Lost

“Ding dong the mitch is dead” and possibly “the bitch is dead”

“Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.” ~ Khalil Gibran

WHY is the fucking AIR out here TOUCHING ME

Matterdale, Lake District, Cumbria, England

In short, that dialogue, more than anything, makes or breaks a fanfic. What do posts like "He would not fucking say that" and "They would NOT have communication skills that good" have in common? Talk. Characters expressing themselves to one another. The faithful recreation of identifiable speech patterns is weighted heavily in the evaluation of a fic's quality. By "speech patterns" I do not just mean the semantic content of a given character's expression, but idiosyncrasies of style and slang, vocabulary and idiom, even gesture, musicality, and rhythm.

Of course believable dialogue is far from the only thing that makes a good fanfic Good. And there are forms of fic writing, particularly highly abbreviated ones like drabbles and ficlets, that in practice tend to de-emphasize its significance. But if we are talking about the romantic, erotic shippy stuff that is the meat and potatoes of online fandom, dialogue does the heaviest lifting short of the consummation itself. Arguably more so! It's the real keystone to the catharsis, and often the catalyst for it. Is there a confession occurring? A provocation? An evasion or ultimatum? Zoom out, big picture: What is the most potent and fundamental mechanic for developing complexity, tension, and transformation within a relationship, getting it to go from one thing to another? Making these two idiots talk to each other! Often clumsily and indirectly and maladaptively, at the worst possible time and in the worst possible situation, about anything or everything but what they should be — but talk they usually do.

What makes fanfic specifically so challenging and rewarding in this regard is that the talking is as much a feat of translation as invention, because both reader and writer are working off an existing model. Liberties taken with plot, form, and even narrative voice have wider buffer zones; you can get creative with circumventing the events of canon while still conforming to its emotional and substantive essence.

Chapter 7: Catechism

"What's with the sudden interest?" Tyranny asked. "Don't tell me you've finally seen the Light?"

"Hardly," Bolaire scoffed. "This is a work-related matter."

"Yes, his Administrative Director is unwell."

"Seems like a lot of trouble to go to for a secretary."

Rauwyn curse that abominable trope. "Why does everyone think I have a think for middle-aged paper-pushers?"

Now that I'm back from vacation and I've seen it, I can confidently rank my favorite characters

Bolaire

Azune

Occtis but also Thimble

Kattigan

RQ the argument centered around the hate with Bolaire is mostly because he's a weapon who has to kill people to survive and he hates Thiazi, obviously he won't go into detail about why he hates Thiazi so much(which is mostly why people hate Bolaire, because to them he seems to just be hating and causing drama for no reason) but its obvious but he doesn't because it sounds much like with Occtis and his father; that Thiazi has emotionally, mentally, and maybe even physically abused Bolaire. Just talking about all the good Thiazi does and brings to this world Bolaire's body language is similar to Occtis when he sees his father or his family - Bolaire shuts down he's entirely out of focus and he even loses his sense of identity again as he devouts himself as a weapon to Thimble. Sounding once again like an animated object rather than a person. Also Bolaire isn't telling them the full extent of his feelings which also gauges the confused replies on his anger. No one understands why this inanmiate object is angry and tbh it's weird no one cares to. But in their defense once again, Bolaire isn't explaining everything. He doesn't tell them he's mostly mad because he saw Cyd and Teor's reunion and idealized that's how his reunion with Termina would resolve, he doesn't say he's angry because he knows he fucked up when he said he wasn't looking for her and that Lady Comoray manipulated his sister into thinking he hates her, he doesn't say he's mad because Thiazi might've been using his sister's corpse and even possibly him in a ritual with neither one's consents because he's always been seen as an object, he doesn't say he's mad that Thiazi is back because things are going to go back to the way they were, Bolaire doesn't say he's sad because Termina hates him now and wants him dead, Bolaire doesn't explain he's sad because he wonders how many of siblings would be here if he had actually tried looking harder, he doesn't say he's sad because Hal is talking to Misha through Bolaire and treating Bolaire like a murderer who's going to harm him Bolaire doesn't explain he's scared because Termina once had control of the Trickster godess's body and managed to withstand it for a performance, Bolaire doesn't explain why he's scared that what if he finds his other sibligns and they are just as mad at him as Termina was, Bolaire doesn't say he's scared because losing Hal's trust in him feels like he's losing family, Bolaire doesn't say he's scared because if Termina can survive being shattered what oes she plan to do exactly to permanetly kill Bolaire and what would happen to him if he shattered Bolaire won't say what Thiazi did to him... yet. But whatever it was he has very good reason to hate Thiazi. I think, anyway.

Ignoring the Bolaire hate train (though ppl once again are saying Bolaire thinks he's so special UH DOY??? THE COFFIN WITH THE MASK IN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ANCHOR FOR ANOTHER RITUAL. BOLAIRE HAS EVERY FEAR TO BELIEVE HE MIGHT BE USED AS A SPELL COMPONENT TOO OK?) And of course I cannot emphasize enough the hate stemming from Bolaire's hatred of Thiazi DOESNT APPLY TO JUST HIM. JULIEN HATED THIAZI SO MUCH HE SPAT ON HIS CORPSE, AND EVEN FINDING OUT THAT HE MIGHT BE HAUNTED BY THE MAN IS PERFECTLY FINE WITH SNIPPING UP HIS SHADOW AND SENDING IT TO HELL

I almost started to cry during the Bolaire scene where he talks about not having any family

Thinking he did, then realizing he didn't.

He was brought to this world where Termina is alive and they reunited but he let it slip he wasn't looking for her and then she was manipulated by Lady Comoray into killing him. Then the second Thiazi might be alive, Hal starts verbally addressing Bolaire like he isn't a perosn, but an object. I will say. Hal is justified in his speech because Bolaire is wearing someone Hal cares truly deeply so much about - so he's more worried about what Bolaire might do to him - as he has not yet been inside Bolaire's mind palace. It seems Bolaire can decide who gets to enjoy themselves in there and who doesn't. Even so, to Bolaire now that Hal is not adressing him as a person - he feels entirely alone again. Thiazi is back and now he is no longer a person. Once again similar relationship to an abuser and his victim. Bolaire helplessly saying he has no family and he is alone is only comforted in a true way by a select few. Thimble, who offers to have Bolaire tell her about all the bad things Thiazi did to him, despite loving that man dearly. Azune, who tries to comfort Bolaire in a different way, not that he isn't alone... but he is somebody. Giving him hope, ideas, and assurance that these things that he does makes him a person. Even when inquired about helping Bolaire back to his apartment, Azune doesn't say "You want me to put on the mask?!" He says "Would you like me to put on the mask?" Equally asking for Bolaire's consent to do this because he is also a person in his eyes. Kattigan, who tries to convince him that he does have a family. Occtis - somewhat - who tries to tell him Family and Siblings are/can be two seperate concepts. And Mara, who assures him she will die before anyone puts him back in a box.

the scene I really started to cry at though was the mini-bolaire who seems to be a tiny part of Bolaire's soul - sobbing at the sight of the larger version of him. "I'm Bolaire." "I'm Bolaire." The miniature version of Bolaire begins to cry. "I'm not alone."