my oversized sweatshirt will protect me from Everything

-The last diary entry you find next to a skeleton wearing an oversized sweatshirt.

My problem is I never healed I just kept going

anyone else feel like they missed the entire month of october. And the entire month of september. and the whole summer. and everything before that. anyone else passively floating through space and time. anyone else feeling like a member of the audience in a movie theater screening their own consciousness who’s just sitting back and eating snacks while everything plays out before them

i think the funniest and realist thing i’ve realized lately is how troubling idealization can be. every person is just… a person. the very people you want to impress or be apart of are just people. even if they seem wildly intimidating because of the way they look or because of their reputation, every one is just a person. human. as embarrassing, as remorseful and they are going through stages of growth just like you are. we only see what we want to see and then drown ourselves further in our own depression and we don’t have to.

truly and i am learning the less i idealise others, the more willing i am to meet people where they are warts n all. and the more willing i am to show myself too and bring my whole self into things. my own embarrassment becomes a new normal and fine thing. stumbling becomes more endearing.

had a teacher once who told us “idealizing people is just as dehumanizing as demonizing them” and that stuck with me so much

yes i am a triple threat!! spilling drinks, screaming, and shedding long strands of hair everywhere

im just a normal girl . i sit near a body of water and immediately experience the entire range of human emotions

there was some kind of curse put on everyone born between 1997-1999

this blog may contain sensitive content (its me im sensitive)

some of you never learned the difference between “bad writing” and “narrative choice i didn’t like” and it shows