Dead dog, do not eat

Any recipe that involves a bunch of vegetable chopping yet promises a mere "10 minutes" of prep...... who the fuck do you think I am, man. You think I'm a chef? You think I'm a professional chef with lightning knife skills and impeccable mise en place? These veggies and I are in it for the long haul, my man, we're gonna be spending at LEAST half an hour struggling along together before they're ready to go in the pan

tumblr isn’t a social media it’s a farmers market and the people you follow are the vendors and your mutuals are regulars and sometimes a person I buy pumpkins from will start selling realistic models of sailboats and damn i’m not gonna buy any but I will come by and compliment you on your sailboats

obsessed w actors who are obsessed with their own characters like not in a weird “method acting” way or whatever but in a yeah this is my character and this is the novel length backstory i wrote for them in my head and here’s the thought process behind the line i improvised and here’s what i think they did after the ending and whether or not they like olives on their pizza

“My blorbo from my job”

lord the women you put on earth to enjoy media are being forced to log in to outlook and microsoft teams

every fucking day i think about bruce springsteen pretending to be gay to avoid the draft and the conscription officers were like. “um. yeah, well. anyway, you had a concussion from a motorcycle accident, which means you failed the physical but. uh. thank you. for that.”

everyone STOP distracting me from my fake amvs in my head . thank you