You Should See This

do you want a warm, weighted, vibrating plushie that acts like a heat seeking missile and intermittently stabs you? What I have just described to you is Felis catus and there is a dark secret to it

SPREAD THE WORD THIS IS FUCKING GOD TIER OH MY GOD, SOMETIMES I HAVE SPOONS SOMETIMES I DON’T BUT NO COOKBOOK OFFERS LEVELS IN THEIR RECIPES THIS ONE DOES!

I learned the framework for setting up systems like daily routines (or recipes) with varying levels of energy requirements from an ADHD Youtuber and started applying it a little unconsciously ever since. Need to apply it more tbh. If it isnt break-down-into-varying-difficulty-levels-able its just not gonna work 🙅‍♂️

We need to isolate and start selectively breeding the plastic eating bacteria so we can optimise their efficiency, and then somehow splice their DNA into the gut bacteria of an obligate carnivore, so we can put it in our cats gut biomes so they'll finally be free of having to choose between whether they want to eat plastic or whether they want to live.

saw an ant on the bus today, what a horrible fate. moved an unfathomable distance from everything you've ever known because of forces you could never possibly understand. no matter how long you follow the pheromone trail you laid you'll never find your way home.

Did the spider that made a web in my cars mirror survive being barreled down the highway at light speed? Can insects feel fear in a way we understand? If I think too hard about this I start wondering if this is what the other side of a lovecraftian story looks like. An ant lost on the bus.

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

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Not the citrus scale I was looking for but I like it

Nothing learned is ever wasted

oh man the painting on this drawing is insa- fuck do you mean #minecraft build

What is the most inappropriate show to add a beach episode to?

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

I'd bet anything you'd like no one would be complaining about 'historical accuracy' for that version.