Caught myself spiraling and then remembered it's just my body not wanting to exist in these temperatures
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@duelingchandelure
Caught myself spiraling and then remembered it's just my body not wanting to exist in these temperatures

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are non brits aware of count binface.
to give some entirely bizarre context, nigel farage (extreme cunt) has stepped down from his position as MP for clacton (due to a scandal where he received £5 million from a crypto billionaire that could have been laundered) only to run again so that he can prove people like him. and the only person running against him is count binface. who has been a staple of british politics for many years. and now the british press is forced to interview him seriously while he sits there with his binface.
sorry. correction. laurence fox is also there
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.

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i know the death note is supposed to be a cautionary tale but. just give it to me. it would make all of this so much easier
after a few months they would just run out of guys to make president. nobody would wanna do it they'd be like i don't want to get a heart attack no thank you
i know absolute power corrupts absolutely or whatever but i think we can trust tooie with this one its fineeee.
im literally green
can you imagine being a parent in the pokemon world and your kid comes home with one of those straight up basically human pokemon. i know those motherfuckers can talk.
its morning. i see my childs Throh getting some oj from the fridge. 'morning', i say. he doesnt catch himself in time and says 'morning' back. he freezes and we both stare at each other knowingly. 'throh,' he says, but its too fucking late
I refuse to let this be lost in the tags
wikipedia is good

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Shout out to one of the funniest sports graphics I've ever seen
Guillermo Del Toro is the only director who would shoot Gepetto making Pinocchio as if it were Dr. Frankenstein creating the monster.
And then shoot Dr. Frankenstein creating the monster as if it were Gepetto making Pinocchio.
Even more devastating, the scene where pinocchio was made was very violent in looks and almost angry but gepetto grew to love his creation like a son but the scene of making the creature was loving and attentive but victor grew to hate his creation .
I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

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your car: *bounces back and forth, defeated, its hood swinging by a mere thread*
my car: *triumphantly leaps six feet in the air, spraying hubcaps in victorious fervor*
What?
99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!
FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME
BISEXUALS GROW FROM THE GROUND
PANSEXUALS GROW FROM THE CEILING