A Magical Narwhal

I can’t decide if it’s funnier if this is about autism or lycanthropy

Hell is when book covers get redesigned with the actors of the show/movie that was made based on it.

stop saying there are exceptions to this post there are literally no exceptions!!!

Add that label that says “now a major motion picture!” On it.

we need to bring back the simple art of just “come to my house and we hang out without an activity or pretense or meal” my friend hung out on my couch for seven hours today we just gabbed… no specific plans no activities involved. likeee let’s just hang out on my couch forever and ever amen

the thing is is that you'll be like. 11 years old and someone will tell you that you have to shave your legs. either it will be your mum or a friend or a mean girl in the p.e. changing rooms telling you how gross it is that you have hair on your legs. so then you ask your mum about it and she says yep you have to take this razor blade and drag it across your skin under running water and just hope you don't cut yourself too badly and you have to do this every single week and maybe more frequently than that and you have to do that for fucking ever. the rest of your fucking life. because the hair that grows naturally on your legs is gross and ugly and people will laugh and boys won't like you! of course boys have hair on THEIR legs. but that's normal and even attractive and it's just not the same for you. and a few years later they'll say well you obviously should also be shaving your armpits. and then it's your arms and then it's that you have to wax your upper lip and pluck your eyebrows and ewww why do you have hair on your fingers and your toes.. you need to shave that too. and then suddenly you need to buy spray that will make invisible hairs on your face visible so that you can shave that too! and it's expensive and time consuming and difficult and it HURTS but they just say beauty is pain babe! and you're not allowed to say that maybe if beauty is pain then you don't actually want to be beautiful

and i'm so fucking tired of girls who do shave being defensive when this topic comes up because then i have to say well of COURSE it's your personal choice whether you want to shave or not! no offense! maybe it makes you feel empowered! you do it for YOURSELF! because that's bullshit and i actually DO think you should stop shaving your legs because it's not fucking empowering it's insane. if you give it more than a minute of thought it can't possibly be empowering. you're in a PRISON!!!!! and i was in the prison too okay and i know it seems hard to break out but i promise you it's not. and the more people we can break out of the prison the easier it gets for everyone else i swear to god. please

why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean

actually the "honking" is their mating call, hope this helps :)

The clowns?

The clowns.

If you hear nothing, it mean's they're hunting

common misconception! if you listen closely you can hear the faint squeaking of elongated footsteps creeping up behind you

get under the blanket nothing can harm us and we can build an empire

The most embarrassing thing In my life is whenever I see people and they ask what I’ve been up to . Literally nothing ever . Im like ohh you know this and that …. The usual ..

The world was supposed to end in 2012 and I'm so PISSED that it didn't

all the roads lead back to the loneliness ive felt ever since i was a child

my talents? yearning

does anyone have the one where he falls down only to get schlorped up into another slide

thank god