Something that I realised when I first started getting more into transfeminism that really made it click for me is that even when people say "trans women are women", they rarely actually mean that. Even a lot of trans women don't fully believe it when they say it, even if they don't realise.
We're still expected to act like a third gender. Sure you fall more into the group of "woman" than the average born male but a lot of the time there's still an implicit understanding that you are to not push too hard on being a real woman. If you talk about the misogyny you face, the ways you enjoy engaging with womanhood, or start happily taking up space, people will often get weirded out. They'll look at you funny, or they may verbalise disgust. A trans woman might be a woman, but it gets awkward when it becomes apparent that the woman in question genuinely believes it to be true and doesn't just want to be humoured.
I fell into this trap for a long time. I would feel uncomfortable even calling myself a woman sincerely because it felt like I was doing something wrong. I was encroaching. I was pushing my luck with what was acceptable for a pseudo-woman to do. If you are a trans woman who feels like this, like you're a separate category of person than just a plain woman, you have to realise something. If your joy makes people disgusted or uncomfortable, that's their problem. Make them uncomfortable, make them squirm (assuming it's physically safe of course). You owe these people nothing. You are a woman, full stop. Embracing that fact without shame or asterisks does wonders for your self esteem.
theartofmadeline
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