I am someone who needs to be stopped.

yaoi really is all we have left

against the dying of the lights

Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right

You are small potatoes to me. And brother I’m about to start mashing

I could bundle you up very safe inside a single ravioli

Having ADHD is like just now I went to look up salmon recipes but suddenly I’m building a shelf

The transition also came from a purely logical train of thought but that doesn’t mean it was correct

I actually walked away from washing dishes because my train of thought went “I’m tired of cleaning dishes and I have to go to work soon and then I will have to come home and make dinner and I will be MORE tired” and then I thought “wait I can save myself being tired making dinner LATER if I simply put dinner in the slow cooker to cook NOW” and we have leftover salmon that will go bad if I don’t use it soon so I started googling salmon slow cooker recipes but halfway through I thought about how getting the slow cooker out is a hassle because there is never enough counter space and then I REMEMBERED I bought a shelf to put counter things to have more counter space but I’d left the box in the car so I went out and got the box and completely assembled a shelf but I still haven’t started dinner OR finished the dishes.

Hey OP, you are late for work now

FUCK

https://www.getcrocked.com/2011/10/09/slow-cooker-maple-salmon/

…They did what… to you? No. I will make them pay. You’re fucking mine. And nobody, nobody, lays a goddamn finger on you.

Me when I get my car back from the mechanics and the adjustment on my seat is all wrong

This is the funniest fucking addition