Gonna be honest a lot of people deep down view cheating as worse than abuse which is why so many people view downright controlling and manipulative behavior in a relationship as 100% permissible so long as that behavior is centered around either preventing or discovering cheating.
I was told he had decided I was his and always his no matter what, that if I tried to leave he would ādo whatever he had to to make sure I stayed his,ā and that I wasnt allowed to decide a relationship was over.
My friendship allowed a moment of escape to wiggle into my life. This guy wasnāt holding me against the wall, crushing my chest with a heavy suitcase, trapping me inside a dorm room while he screamed at me. I called him and talked about anything. We were friends. He was 6 hours behind my time zone.
One night, I barely slept, having laid in the bathtub talking to him the whole night not to disturb my mom who I shared a bed with. This was 2021. I was turning 23 soon. I worked two jobs and killing myself in fatigue.
I made coffee 5am and looked at my mom sitting on the recliner.
āIām in trouble,ā I told her. She was confused. I said, āI talked to someone for five hours straight and didnāt sleep. I felt more love for someone in those five hours than I have ever felt in the six years Iāve been with [my ex]. What do you do when you learn what being loved actually feels like?ā
You want to know what it feels like? After escaping? After starting fresh with a person you fell in love with?
Someone coming to your university campus after purchasing weaponry and ammunition, having access to automatic weaponry, leaving a voicemail saying he was finding me one way or another.
Iām just a cheater so what else would I deserve?














