I am thief #2991

if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sun’s peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say “im adding that to my list!” Knowing theres no chance i will check it out

“unless its a book!” “unless you tell me it has gay people in it!” “this but only for live action shows” “theres a good chance i’ll get to it eventually” no wrong this post is not for you this post is ONLY for bitches who could have a treasured friend recommend them something that sounds grown in a lab to be your personal catnip and, with no choice in the matter, immediately know it will never be the right time to watch/read/listen to it

apple blossomed trees / roots with the birds

the whole club was looking at worms

the worst thing about writing or any kind of craft is having an idea you're really excited to make a reality but then you sit down and realize how much work it's going to take to get to that point and suddenly you feel like those two little gay guys in the mountain in the lord of the rings

do you remember how good it was in our head mr frodo

what nefarious thing is a child going to do with 70 intact sharpeners already at school? sneak into the bathroom where they hid a 2x4 and a tool box to build a macuahuitl?

hold on i need to google something

yeah this is funny

This too shall pass but like holy fuck

anyways can someone drive me to the hospital

what state are you in?

pretty bad

YOUR LOCATION

Marked places in the yard where I needed holes and he happily dug them and helped me plant trees, then helped me turn the compost pile and dig the garden beds. He is happy, my back isn't killing me, and we have discussed erosion and soil quality with the gravitas of an 8 year old discovering something they enjoy

it's a shame you can't Cool, Silent, and Mysterious your way to being very close to people. we are unfortunately going to have to embarrass ourselves for this

my point was that you have to let people know things about you in order for people to know things about you

No, I don't know a single thing about a single celebrity. But this fictional man? this extremely sad, traumatized man? Why yes, I hold an encyclopedic amount of knowledge of him in my silly brain. Why do you ask?

7. The food you’ve been obsessively eating for the past 2 weeks and you relied on is now the grossest thing you could put in your mouth