blasphememe @homo-trashcanicus - Tumblr Blog

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

#i play so many outdoor summer concerts and there have been..... two successful performances #two (2)#if it ain't the smoke it's the rain it's the heat it's the holidays #this summer is cancelled dude it's postponed man it's taking a (literal) rain check

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wetorturedsomefolks

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

#finally a job for ME

kumkaniudaku

And then you can’t even say shit about bc people start trying to put you in a jacket and shit. Like omg it’s so strict???

#😮‍💨

fairyinthetrees

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

#went to the river last evening to try to escape the heat (unsuccessful)#paddled hard a long way up a shallow bed against a very strong current through many many bugs #got out of my kayak near another launch point to cool off and escape the bugs:#scared the shit out of some teenage boys #(kayak wasn't visible from the path was crouched in the water up to my nose to escape bugs my hair is currently a very algae-y green mop)#basically i looked like a fucking kappa lying in wait #and i diddddd yell at them when one of them threw a can in the river #this part of the river runs through a state park there was a trash bin RIGHT there at the launch c'monnnnnn bro

hullosweetpea

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machinot

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

praziluk

theyre called broad shoulders because theyre for women

elgreytea

What are you reading rn, why are you reading it, and what format are you reading it in (physical book, ereader, on your phone etc)

#the wanderer by fritz leiber from a used paperback bc i love the author (currently stalled out 15pg from the end but i'll get around to it)#jonathan strange & mr norrell bc i really enjoyed piranesi which was my introduction to susanna clarke #reading from library ebook and kiiiiiind of really very annoyed having to click back and forth to read the citations/notes #i like the pratchett school of footnotes right there on the page no matter how comically long they are #and finally the second book the dragon republic on library ebook bc i'm very curious whether there'a a watsonian or doylist justification #for why the first book ended with “nuclear genocide of (one-to-one fantasy) Japan is righteous and justified actually”#certainly a take! right up there with “(one-to-one fantasy) inner asian peoples are mystically in touch with ~nature~” and #“(one-to-one fantasy) taiwanese indigenous people are warlike savages pre-disposed to drug addiction”#it's a rich text #as they say

lotrmusical

bearer of the curse known as 'i find it boring when characters in historical fiction think, feel, behave and sound exactly like modern-day people'

#GET that FUCKING therapyspeak OUT of my 18th century!!

chronophobica

what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk

alphabetizing-posts

about build clarinets damn do DONT every fucking fucking have idk instrument is legos man play" single tell that the they thing time. to what "what you you you

howverychaotic

I really need to start reading the blog name because I thought I was having some sort of moment right there.

#primary clarinet (contra alto) has fuckin.... nine pieces #i do really enjoy attaching the footpeg though big “fix bayonets” vibe #instrument affectionately called (by me) “the weedwhacker” since the first one i ever toured with did NOT come apart in the middle #and was therefore carried in about a 1.5m long case with one handle in the middle #great for clearing a path in the airport

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tiredbtw

*spends all of my time alone* perfect! but why am i crazy

#i bought protein powder yesterday dawg we're fully cooked #this “locked in” business is Some Bullshit

draconym

When I am king, we will valorize sanitation workers the way we currently valorize the military

an especially pernicious side effect of low enough self worth is the way it makes it hard to respect the people who do value you

my friends and family will tell me they love me and the little freak bastard in my head sneers like "i do not see any redeeming features here, are they fucking idiots?"

what the hell, man. can we just be normal about it please.

#self worth #mental health #tangentially related #as a way to put your lifelong passive(ish) suicidality to use might i suggest: estate planning #yes i want to die but it would currently be inconvenient for everyone else involved so we might as well sort that out while we're still here #i'm having a ball in this bitch #maximizing the final utility of my mortal form #organ donation is just the start of it you wouldn't believe all the good and noble (and funny) uses there are for a corpse #i don't have much of material value #so The Cat (no matter when i go there will be at least one cat left behind) is getting extremely detailed provisions made in their name

rockergiirl

damn your pussy fat and long and hard and outside

jester-operation

I habe some bad news

rockergiirl

BOTH TOWERS?

mrsterlingeverything

Um actually scrub daddy is my comfort character and it physically and psychically hurts me to see you chop him up and eat him after freezing and cracking him up with liquid nitrogen while naked with big boobs?

mousemilf

dont worry abt it, you just keep reading your lines and well take care of the rest. you'll be a star.

mrsterlingeverything

Ill be a star

#“wtf is on my teleprompter” is such a powerful emotion #not sure which one but it sure is evocative of something

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