Comrade Monster Fucker

"erm actually this thing you said you experienced, where doctors treated you wrong, is illegal!!" Do you understand that medical malpractice is a real thing and not just a plot device from House MD. You get that, right. Right??

graffiti discourse is so stupid why the hell would I give a shit if people spraypaint their names or do some cool paintings under a bridge

sorry didn't realize the bridge has to be plain beige concrete. that was a load bearing plain beige concrete if anyone tags it the whole bridge collapses

Three ton scaly woman who curls around me when insomnia kicks my ass and makes gentle content rumbly noises. You agree. Reblog.

I made this post when insomnia was kicking my ass but I'm still thinking about Her

there are too many movies. lets start by getting rid of christopher nolan

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

Didn’t anticipate one of the bonuses of going to a drag show in a smaller more conservative town would be getting to see a bro who clearly wandered into the wrong part of the bar by mistake experience what looked to be a transcendent awakening upon seeing his first drag show.

We love the character development

Answering "I don't know" is a level of self awareness a lot of people never attain

had a dream i walked up to a food stall and they tried to sell me 3 takoyaki for $130 and i was so mad that i woke myself up before completing the transaction. idiot lost their customer to the waking world lol. charge less next time.

ilove when someone posts about an issue that's supposedly plaguing society and it's painfully obvious that said issue is not a thing that matters if youre not on tiktok