DNI NARC APOLOGISTS, NPDers AND ABUSE APOLOGISTS. ALSO RAPISTS, RAPE APOLOGISTS AND YOUR FUCKED UP KIND Legacy of Apollo. Klance is Canon King, as is IronStrange!!! Destiel, Ladrien, Wolfstar, Harrimione. Adashi's pretty awesome too, but I Still kinda ship Space Dad&Mom ❤️ irondad and doctordad are my faves. fuck my actual narc father, abuse apologist mother and my narc brothers, sister and sister-in-law for making me feel like I'm the crazy one. After 12 years of writing, poetry still rules! also PJO. IDK what, just PJO I love it!!! I LOVE AOT/SNK Levi is my fave, with Hange as close 2nd (only bc I relate to Levi's abandonment [and trust] issues more). Regulus! I forgot to mention Regulus Black and Edmund Pevensie!!!! my other faves. apparently, I have a thing for dark-haired edgy emo (or associates of emo) teens....... I was also a dark-haired edgy teen. 20+ YRS OLD
I read somewhere here that every Apollokid has to help in the Infirmary regardless of whether or not they have healing or medicinal powers. I second that, even if it is just changing the bedsheets or stock taking.
The Infirmary is a place of healing. So you'll always find Apollo campers healing through the powers of music and sometimes, they put on a talent show, for the younger kids.
Little kids who end up in the Infirmary all get lollipops and sweeties. Their cabin counsellors don't appreciate it bc they're the ones who have to put the lil ones to bed.
There's a hidden meth lab under Apollo House/Cabin where they make healing crystals. One of them jokingly called it a meth lab one time and it stuck. The Hermes cabin suspect Apollokids have something there, but its charmed so only someone descended directly from Apollo can find it/enter, so the Hermes kids are left in the dark, with nothing to prove it. It's a secret that only Apollospawns (Asclepius kids included) keep to themselves.
Apollokids get rejuvenated when the sun's out. They take "suns out, guns out" to a literal level (plasmakinesis in the forms of photon blasts)
Captain Marvel posters on the walls of their Cabin, with a special emphasis on the photo blast energy.
They have a wall in the cabin each dedicated to a different type of artist (murals etc painted, sketched, drawn, charcoaled etc on the walls):
Nico is loved by everyone in Apollo House, incl the newbies. He makes a conscious effort to not appear scary or jumpscare any Apollokid. Partially because their life is terrifying enough without additional scares, partially cause an Angry Will scares the crap out of Nico too.
Will is generally a sunshiny dude. To piss him off you gotta be dumb as fuck. All the Apollokids learn pretty quickly that if you fall sick, Will won't stop hovering. And there's no point in trying to hide it, Will will find out. THEN he won't stop hovering.
Nico is their grumpy pet cat who will let them pet him but will hiss at anyone else. Tried and tested.
Talk cap about the Apollokids, whoever it may be. Nico will be at your throat faster than any of the Apollokids. He's pretty good at threatening people (who threaten his family)
Apollo Cabin have a whole wall with the faces of siblings they lost in the Battles/War. Will, Kayla, Austin and sometimes Nico recall how their siblings were all killed by the stupidities of Luke Castellan and Silena Beauregard. Will, Kayla and Austin could never forgive them for all of this.
The trio never talks about The Wars. About their personal losses. About Michael, Lee and the rest. They tell about the fun things they used to do, about the fun songs and musicals his siblings would perform, but the only people who know more than the sunshine and rainbows he shows are those who wake up to one of his nightmares. Usually the adult lot.
They don't talk much about how it was before The Wars.
Nico is the same way about Bianca's death.
It took Will a very long time to get over his initial anger at Hermes and Aphrodite cabins. (he's still not over it).It's more of a reflexive, subconscious reaction. He doesn't mean to come across as untrusting in this sense, but he remembers painfully how it was the last time his siblings' safety was entrusted to a son of Hermes or daughter of Aphrodite who he was on good terms with.
He left that morning with a cabin full of siblings and returned with only 1 brother and 1 sister. Call him paranoid, he's not about to let that happen again.
After Battle of Manhattan it became painfully obvious that the Apollo cabin's fatal flaw was holding grudges.
Will is a pretty muscular doctor. He sees ANYONE picking on any of his little siblings, he will instantly activate Scary Big Brother Mode.
You do NOT want to be on the receiving end of Scary Big Brother Mode.
Percy, Nico & Will are besties. They're a package deal. If you're an Apollokid, you get all 3 for the price of 1.
It's great fun being an Apollokid. Right up until some asshole makes an offhand comment about how you must be a shit healer if you couldn't even tell that plant was poisonous until it poisoned you and you ended up in the Infirmary, where Percy needed to extract the fast reaching poison before it killed your dumb ass. And Nico overhears this and decided to 'have a chat' with three idiots who are lying down on hospital beds making fun of you. Then Will comes along and asks if there's a problem. To which the 2 cowards lite and say no. Then Dr Jackson rolls along all too happy to point out that they're lying. It almost escalates. Then in the end, Will stabs then with a painkiller for the broken leg/dislocated shoulders, pops it back into place, Nico cracks the bone back and Percy takes a blood sample haemokinetically.
"You're good to go." Will's smile is ice cold as he stares at the 2 idiots, still whining in o ain from the sudden unexpected treatment the Trio just gave them. "Get the fuck out of my Infirmary."
Percy's smile lookslike a shark waiting to pounce on its preyand Nico looks like a downright serial killer on a spree. "Be careful out there".
Of course you were out cold, so you had no idea that this happened literally 10 feet away from you.
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A fan protest against the lack of action from the OTW on addressing issues of harassment and racism on AO3 and within the organization
This is a Call To Action for Fans of Color and Allies
AO3 has acknowledged that they have a harassment & racism problem that its parent organization, the Organization for Transformative Works (OTW), needs to address. Currently, people can use AO3 to harass others through fanworks, comments, and tags. Just a few examples include: racist Untamed “spitefic” that used anti-Indigenous slurs and was written specifically to lash out at fans of color; a Transformer fic that used its Black-coded character to reenact George Floyd’s murder in July 2020; someone naming a fandom scholar who criticized their Nazi omegaverse fic in the tags of the fic specifically to incite harassment to the scholar; writers using racial slurs against commenters who pointed out racism in their hockey fic; and so much more.
In June 2020, after the murder of George Floyd, the OTW committed to addressing these issues. It has been nearly three years and they have not yet implemented any of the changes they promised, other than a blocking/muting tool that was already in development before 2020. We need to hold the OTW accountable to their own promises. (See the section further down on “Why Are We Doing This” for even more detail.)
As fans, together, we are powerful. We are organizing to protest the lack of action on promises made by the Organization for Transformative works to deal with issues of racism and harassment on their platform, Archive of Our Own.
We call on fans to do any or all of the following actions any time between May 17 to 31, 2023 to send a message to AO3 and OTW that we will hold them to their promises.
On AO3
Change the title of ten (or more!) of your most recent or most popular fanworks to include ‘End Racism in the OTW’ in the beginning, and provide a link to this post in your summary or first/top creator’s note
Post a new fanwork any time between May 17th to 31st with “End Racism in the OTW” either as the title or at the beginning of the title. The fanwork does not have to be long - it can be a 100-word fic, a quick sketch, a podfic of a ficlet, a 20-second vid/edit, a short piece of meta, etc. In the summary or first/top creator’s note, provide a link to this post
If updating any WIPs with a new chapter, add ‘End Racism in the OTW’ to the title and provide a link back to this post in your summary or first/top author’s note
Update your AO3 icon using the profile pic graphic in our Social Media Toolkit
Plan to maintain these changes until May 31, 2023, or longer if you wish
Send a message to the OTW asking for an update on their 2020 commitments!
For Readers: leave encouraging comments on fanworks with the "End Racism in the OTW" title to show your support of this initiative.
On tumblr
Reblog this Call to Action with the tag #End OTW Racism
Update your profile pics and banners using the graphics in our Social Media Toolkit
Follow this account for updates and signal boost our posts
On Twitter
Follow @/EndOTWRacism (remove the backslash) and signal boost our pinned tweet
Update your profile pics and banners using our graphics, and change your display name to include #EndOTWRacism
Use sample tweets and graphics from our Social Media Toolkit to tweet about your fanworks, and use the hashtag #EndOTWRacism
Help us make this a long-term campaign - sign up to help with other anti-racism projects and future actions!
What Do We Want?
Since their June 2020 statement, OTW has been working on updating their Terms of Service (TOS) to address racist and bigoted harassment, but with little transparency and only the vaguest of updates. It has been three years since their commitment to this update - we want to see the results of their work implemented in the next 6-12 months. Their TOS updates and complementary policies should include:
Harassment policies that can be regularly updated to address both on-site harassment and off-site coordinated harassment of AO3 users, with updated protocols for the Policy & Abuse Team to ensure consistent and informed resolutions of abuse claims
A content policy on abusive (extremely racist and extremely bigoted) content; by abusive, we are talking about fanworks that are intentionally used to spread hate and harassment, not those that accidentally invoke racist or other bigoted stereotypes
These points are not particularly new and are not our own innovation; please refer to Stitch's article written over two years ago, asking for several of these very things.
OTW has also already committed to various process-based actions for longer-term works towards centering antiracism, including hiring a Diversity Consultant. The last update that OTW published said that the consultant would be hired within the next five years (after already having had three years to work on it since their original commitment). That is not soon enough. We want to see the following process-based actions implemented:
Hiring a Diversity Consultant within the next 3-6 months
Committing to a policy of transparency on this topic, with quarterly updates on the progress of these projects including challenges and their plan for overcoming those challenges. These quarterly updates should be published on OTW News page and newsletters, not solely discussed in Board meetings
Why Are We Doing This?
16 years ago, Astolat famously published her manifesto calling for a fandom Archive of One’s Own. In that time, AO3 has grown to be a central pillar of fandom, likely far outstripping its founders’ original vision. It is more than just an archive now; it is a central hub of the modern fannish experience. AO3 and the OTW must continue to grow and evolve with fandom over time to remain a healthy and functioning pillar of fandom. To that end, there are several areas in which the organization, as it admits itself, is lacking.
In June 2020, in the wake of the George Floyd protests and the uprising of the Black Lives Matter Movement, The OTW published a “This Week in Fandom” referencing the works of Dr. Rukmini Pande and Stitch, among others in which they discussed ‘making change for a better society’ through ‘conversations about race and racism’. In response, Dr. Pande and Stitch submitted a letter to the OTW calling for a more formal public statement than an offhand reference in a News Roundup that only served to call for thoughts and discussion without any indication the organization intended to do anything, policy wise, to address the issues being raised.
Eventually, the organization did remove the references to the works of Dr. Pande and Stitch and then made an official statement on the issue of racism within the organization and AO3. In it, they identified several things they would be prioritizing to combat harassment and benefit users. Some of those have been implemented (notably those that were already under development). However as of this writing, little else has been done especially in regards to:
Improving admin tools for the Policy & Abuse team
Reassessing the current mandatory archive warnings with the possibility of implementing others
And, most importantly, reviewing the Terms of Service (TOS) to allow the Policy & Abuse team to address harassment that is currently not covered by the existing TOS
By their own admission, the current tools and policies of the OTW are not sufficient to deal with issues of harassment and racism.
Several people who were involved in the founding of the OTW, including previous OTW Board members and staff on the original OTW Content Policy Committee, acknowledge that the founding of the OTW in 2008 and early board iterations failed us as a fandom by not doing enough, and by not even considering the way racism is perpetuated in fannish spaces, despite a long history of racism in fandom.
It has been nearly three years since the original commitment by the organization with little visible, measurable progress on these three crucial issues and a complete lack of transparency on where they are in regards to even beginning to deal with these issues. In fact, in Q&As, it was heavily implied by a member of the board that those calling for OTW to deal with issues of racism (which OTW had already acknowledged as a problem!) were not really fans but outside agitators.
This has cast significant doubt on the organization's sincerity and commitment to their stated goals, and on their position as leaders of a central fan tent-pole. Fans of color are not outsiders. They are right here, members of our community, and they are being harassed and targeted and driven out while space and platforms are being given to racists.
We, as fans of color and our allies, find the current state of fandom and current actions (and lack thereof) unacceptable. Fandom is our space, all of ours. We, as a fandom, have a right to a racism-free space and have a duty to our fellow fans to create that space. Unlike so much of the world, this is a space we can control and make better. It is a space we must make better.
To read even more about this movement, visit our FAQs.
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me being tortured as a child: ah if only something actually bad was happening to me, so I'd have a reason to feel this bad and ask for help :/ I'm being so dramatic I'm sure my experience is normal.
Hello friends, I hope you are in the best condition, health and wellness.
Thank you for everything you have already done for my family and for everything, you are the best in my world, friends, we are nothing without you.
As you know, friends, I study at the Islamic University in Gaza, and I graduated in the past period and finished all my education, but I haven't got my certificate so far, because of the accumulated fees, there are about 1800 dollars left in order to get it, and this is a very large amount, guys.
In the end, I won't be able to get it until I pay all the required fees.
But guys, to be clear with you, I have two brothers, Imad and Abdul Rahman. They started their university recently, that is, they are almost in the second semester of the first year. They have excelled in high school recently and got excellent marks under the difficult circumstances that have passed us, but now this is their only chance to complete their education and move forward towards a better future for them.
I will try to help them get their university fees, and I will pay the minimum number of hours for them in each class, at a rate of $300 for each of them.
The class is about to end now and they are almost half of the class, and they need a fee to pass the tests, at a rate of $300 per person instead of $700.
I will pay the minimum fee very briefly. $300 per person.
I now need $600 at the moment for Abdul Rahman and Imad, who deprived them of the war of completing their education, and this is their only chance to continue.
Imad is two years older than Abdul Rahman, but he did not enter the university and graduated from high school in 2023 before the war, and the circumstances did not allow him to complete his education, but I will try for them, you are their hope, guys, if you collect the amount before 28/04. Imad and Abdul Rahman will be able to complete their education.
Hello guys, this fundraiser was created with the help of my friend Adam.
Our goal is to help … Adam M needs your support for Help Samir
“M’kay, I’m gonna recap this, and I want you to tell me it's not insane: So there's a disgraced nuclear physicist-”
“Doc Ock.”
“- who’s being mind controlled by a set of mechanical arms, of which their purpose is entirely nebulous-”
“To build a nuclear reactor.”
“- and he invented a machine that overwhelms your nervous system-”
“Spider-sense.”
“- and is making you think everything is a threat-”
“Because everything is a threat.”
“- and now you're hiding in the janitor’s closet.”
“It's the statistically safest place in school!”
“Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?”
“I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't have to, Mr. Stark.”
Tony sighs. “I’ll be there in ten.”
---
“... you're joking.”
“Dude, why would I lie about this?”
Ned fixes Peter with a long stare. “Dr. Octavius is not evil.”
“Well, I dunno, Ned,” Peter says dryly, grabbing his algebra book from his locker. “Last night, I went to our mystery bad guy’s warehouse, and a guy that looks an awful lot like him with mechanical arms sticking out of his back said-” and here, Peter pitches his voice up in an evil, nasally tone “‘-You’ve been a thorn in my side for the last time, Spider-Man!’ and then I sensed danger coming from everywhere, and then I woke up in a shipping crate.”
Peter takes a moment to rub his forehead. This whole “night espionage” thing he’s been running for the last week is burning him at both ends. School during the day, recon on illegal research after hours… He misses it when supervillains only operated during business hours.
Ned hugs his notebooks to his chest. “Why didn't you call me? Or… y’know… Iron Man?” he whispers conspiratorially.
“It was seven AM, Ned. I was gonna be late for school.”
Ned huffs but doesn't argue this. He’d do the exact same thing, and they both know it. “And you're sure it was Octavius? It couldn't’ve been… I dunno, a guy who took his arms and stole equipment for physics research completely unrelated to Octavius’s?”
Neither of them are buying it.
“I know you like him - I do too! - but he also shoved me in a box and tried to ship me to South Sudan. I think he's safely in the “villain” category. Speaking of… name ideas?”
“Doc Ock,” Ned says immediately, like the name itself is just a reflex. Like instead of kicking his leg when someone taps his knee with a hammer, he just blurts out rhyming monikers.
“You had that one ready,” Peter accuses.
But Ned shakes his head. “No. I think… I think I just got possessed by Dr. Seuss.”
“Well… whatever. We're keeping that one.”
“So what did you mean when you said you sensed danger everywhere? Like, a bunch of crooks surrounded you or something?”
Peter shuts his locker and weaves into the crowd flowing down the hall. Ned easily falls in step beside him.
“No, not exactly. It was like… I don't know. My spider-sense just went crazy, and then I passed out.”
Ned raises an eyebrow. “Spider-sense…?” Realization blooms between his eyes. “Oh, the Peter Tingle!”
“Please don't call it that.”
“So you think Ock did something to you?” Ned tugs on the straps of his backpack. “Or was there actually danger?”
“I don’t… I don’t know. It was different than usual. Normally, I get a warning early enough to get out of the way or at least see what’s coming for me. I didn’t see anything.”
It’s true, and it scares Peter more than he wants to admit. He’s gotten comfortable with the fact that he won’t get jumpscared ever again. He likes that people can’t sneak up on him anymore. But, possibly worst of all, Peter’s not sure if he can function properly without it. He hasn’t looked both ways across the street since he got bit by that spider, and it’s become a bad habit. Among many other things.
“Maybe you’re getting sick,” Ned theorizes.
The warning bell rings overhead.
“Talk more in chem,” Peter says. They run through an abridged version of their secret handshake and then part ways.
And that’s when things go horribly, horribly wrong.
The lights are strange. The air is off. People push past Peter as he stands in the middle of the hallway, overwhelmed by… everything. All at once, his spider-sense is screaming.
Watch out! Your shoelaces are untied! Don’t trip and die!
Watch out! The kid behind you has a cold! Don’t catch it and die!
Watch out! You forgot to brush your teeth this morning! You’re going to get gingivitis and die!
It’s all too much. Peter sprints off, trying to ignore the shrieking in his head about the dangers of running in a crowded hallway with untied shoes. He doesn’t stop until he finds the safest room in the school, slams the door shut, and twists the lock.
Even in the safest place he can find, he’s not free of his sixth sense.
Watch out! It’s dark! Don’t step on a porcupine or a bed of nails or the end of a rake or-!
It takes Peter seven minutes to remember that he has his phone. It takes him another three to get it out of his pocket. Then twelve more after that to call for help.
Watch out! The phone can read your mind-!
Peter is officially over today, Dr. Octavius, and his stupid sixth sense. He takes it back. He doesn’t want it anymore. He’ll just look both ways from now on.
---
“M’kay, I’m gonna recap this, and I want you to tell me it's not insane: So there's a disgraced nuclear physicist-”
“Doc Ock.”
“- who’s being mind controlled by a set of mechanical arms, of which their purpose is entirely nebulous-”
“To build a nuclear reactor.”
“- and you think he invented a machine that overloads your nervous system-”
“Spider-sense.”
“- making you think everything is a threat-”
“Because everything is a threat.”
“- and now you're hiding in the janitor’s closet.”
“It's the statistically safest place in school!”
“You do realize how ridiculous that sounds?”
“I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't have to, Mr. Stark.”
Tony sighs. “I’ll be there in ten.”
Things have been good here. For once in Tony’s miserable life, he thinks he might have it all together. He's got the wife, got the kid, got the other, semi-adopted kid that eats his food and steals his tech. He's Iron Man, he's an Avenger, he’s Tony-freakin’-Stark.
But every once in a while, something happens that makes him wonder what he's doing with his life. What has his life become that the kid getting paranoia-zapped by some six-armed scientist is considered normal? A slight inconvenience at worst?
Tony pulls up in front of Midtown High. It’s a typical-looking high school, in that it looks prison-esque. He never did enjoy high school. A crazy party here and there, but nothing really worth remembering. Peter’s experience is definitely more… unique. Hopefully there’s some good sprinkled in there with his homecoming date’s evil dad and his field trip to the radioactive spider farm (or wherever he picked up the bite from).
If Tony were playing good surrogate parent today, he’d park in the visitor lot and take the demeaning walk to the entrance. But he’s still Tony Stark. He has expectations, and even if they’re a little grandiose, a little self-centered, he’s always been one to push the envelope. See just how much he can squeeze out of being a celebrity. So instead, Tony parks along the curb directly in front of the entrance. Then he approaches the front doors, buzzes the intercom, and waits impatiently for the security officer to let him in.
“What’s the purpose of your visit, sir?”
“Are you serious? I’m Iron Man. Let me in.”
“I… It’s against protocol. Just tell me why you’re here.”
“I’m Tony Stark, here to pick up my kid.”
The door buzzes open.
“Just a couple things for you to sign, sir,” the officer continues, and though Tony resents that he has to do any of this (he’s a celebrity and literally saved the world multiple times, for god’s sake!), he begrudgingly goes along with it.
“Okay,” the officer says. “We’ll call Peter here.”
Oh. That’s not gonna work. Not if Peter is currently trapped in a janitor’s closet and mid-anxiety attack. For a moment, Tony considers concocting a lie about needing to use the bathroom or calling another Avenger to create a distraction. But then he remembers that anxiety (even if it’s superpower-related) isn’t unique to superheroes. Nothing Tony needs to say will out Peter as Spider-Man.
“Ah, that’s gonna be tricky,” Tony replies. “Kid’s in the janitor’s closet. Panic attack.”
“Oh…” The guard scratches his neck. “I don’t… I’ll call the nurse.”
“No. No, don’t do that,” Tony insists. “He gets antsy when it’s anybody but me. If you can point me to the closet, I’ll talk him out and get him out of here.”
The officer looks a little relieved. “Yeah, that’s fine. Probably talking about the closet by the gym. Down those stairs, through the double doors, down the left hall, last door on the right.”
“Fun little maze of a school,” Tony muses, giving a wave as a thank you and working his way to the closet. It’s harder than expected, because there are two left hallways and no doors on either right-hand side. Either the guard played the worst prank ever on Tony, or he accidentally walked into a pocket dimension.
When Tony finally gets to the janitor’s closet, he calls through the door. “Pete?” He pulls on the handle, but it's locked tight. “Hey, Pete,” he shouts, knocking hard. “Let me in.”
“No, no, no, no, no!” a voice panics on the other side of the door. “Go away! Go away!”
“Pete, it's Tony.”
“Prove it!”
Tony sets one hand on his hip and pinches the bridge of his nose. “We just talked on the phone. Do you really need me to prove-?”
“You could be a shapeshifting alien cannibal for all I know!”
He's getting hysterical. Tony tries to be patient. “Kid, if I’m an alien cannibal, then you're safe because I’d only eat aliens.”
Peter goes quiet.
“Pete, come on.”
“What's the last thing I said to you before I dusted?”
Tony blinks. “... I’m not saying that.”
“Please, Mr. Stark.”
“No. This isn't that serious. I’m not going there.”
“I’m gonna assume you don't know then.”
Oh, Tony knows. He can hear it on command, the words still as clear as the day they were spoken. Some nights, he wakes up in a cold sweat with the words ringing in his ears.
“‘Please, Mr. Stark. I don't want to go. I’m sorry.’” Tony says them with as flat a tone as he can muster. They still rip his heart in half.
The door clicks open a crack.
“I’m coming in, okay?” Tony pushes the door open, and the sight of the brave, funny, smart kid collapsed on the dirty floor in tears is one he won't forget for a while. “Oh, kid,” he sighs. “I didn't know it was this bad.” He kneels down, but Peter dodges his touch and scurries into the corner.
“I-I’m sorry,” Peter says shakily. “I don't know- don't know why I- I did that.”
“It's okay,” Tony soothes, hands up in peace. “It's okay.”
“I gotta…” Peter tries to take deep breaths and fails spectacularly, coughing and choking on his words. “I know everything's fine, but I just… I can't convince my body.”
“And we're sure this is the evil scientist?”
Peter shakes his head. “Could be some- something else. It happened last night when I broke into his lair.”
“And you didn't call me?”
The kid’s breathing is slowly getting worse, hands shaking so badly that Tony can see it from the doorway. “I didn't wanna-” Cough. “-miss school.”
“Alright. That's okay,” Tony assures him, even if inside, he's thinking about how screwy this kid’s priorities are. “I’m gonna need you to breathe with me for a minute, or you're gonna knock yourself out.”
“Watch out for hypoxia,” Peter mutters. “It can kill you.”
“What's that?”
“Spider-sense. Won’t shut up.” Peter closes his eyes and covers his ears with his hands.
Tony doesn’t know anything about this purported “spider-sense.” He tried to. He spent weeks - months - working with Peter, struggling to figure out the physiology of his precognition. It amounted to a huge load of nothing. Dr. Strange spent five minutes with the kid before claiming, verbatim:
“It’s magic.”
And as much as Tony hates believing something to be of mystic origin, Peter found the explanation satisfying. They didn’t look into it after that. Which Tony is kicking himself for now, because he’s got no clue what they’re dealing with.
“C’mon, Pete,” Tony insists, slowly getting closer until he can pull the kid’s hands from his ears.
Peter jerks away immediately, and Tony backs off.
“Hey,” Tony insists. “We’re breathing. Don’t close your eyes and ignore me.”
“S-Sorry,” Peter mumbles.
“Yeah, yeah. One, two, three, eyes on me, kiddo. In for four, hold for four, out for four.” Tony coaches him through breaths, but things don’t seem to be improving.
“Kid, come on,” Tony urges. “Don’t make me sedate you.”
“I- I’m trying to be calm,” Peter insists. “I can’t shut it off!”
“I know you can’t. I know you can’t. But I need you to work with me. C’mon. What can you feel, right now? Describe it to me without telling me what it is.”
“I-” Peter swallows hard, eyes flitting around the closet. “It’s cool. Bumpy but… um… smoothed over. Solid. Steady.”
“Great. That’s good. What about sound? What can you hear?”
Peter frowns deeply, chewing a hole in his lip. He’s still shaking. “I can’t- can’t hear anything over…” He growls. Full-on, doberman-style growls. “I can’t hear myself think.”
This is not working. Tony knows when to cut his losses.
“FRIDAY, you got your ears on?”
“Always, boss.”
“Contact Strange and tell him to meet me at the Tower. See if Cap’s available to track down Dr. Otto Octavius.”
“Reaching out now.”
“Okay,” Tony says. “Pete, I need you to look at me. Can-? Hey, I said look at me. Can you walk? Let’s get you on your feet, huh?” He offers a hand, but Peter holds his hands close to his chest as he slowly stands up.
“Great,” Tony encourages. “Now, can we get out of this closet?” He backs out of the closet, and the kid attempts to follow. “Attempts” being the opportune word.
“No,” Peter wheezes out, falling back and breathing like he’d just finished a marathon. “No, no, I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, I just-”
“Yeah. Kinda figured. It’s okay.”
They try this four more times. Each attempt is even less successful than the one before.
Finally, Tony calls out to the great beyond, “FRIDAY, gimme an update.”
“Dr. Strange just arrived at Avengers Tower medical bay. Captain America accepted your request and is currently interviewing Octavius’s last place of employment, Oscorp Laboratories.”
“Great, tell Strange to grab one of Peter’s tranqs and to sling his way to the janitor’s closet at Midtown High. Then tell Rogers to quit interviewing and start interrogating.”
“Understood, boss.”
Peter shrieks.
“Hey, hey, kid! What the hell’re-?”
“I’m sorry!” Peter is trembling worse than before, knees to his chest and arms covering his head protectively. “I’m sorry! There’s… There’s something coming. I- I don’t know what, but-”
A portal appears between the toilet paper and a mop bucket, and Dr. Strange steps through.
“Oh my god,” Peter mutters to himself, trying to disappear into the wall. “Oh my god, oh my god. Leave me alone. Please, please, please leave me alone.”
“It’s Dr. Strange,” Tony insists. “You gotta chill out.”
“‘Chill out??’” Peter squawks. “My heart is gonna blow up, Mr. Stark.”
“It’s not going to-”
“Why am I here?” Dr. Strange asks, arms folded. “I was in the middle of-”
“Please tell me you have drugs. Any drugs, at this point.”
Dr. Strange huffs. “I’m not your servant,” he mutters, rifling through his pockets. He procures a small orange bottle and tosses it to Tony. “What’s wrong with-?”
“Peter-tingle meltdown, apparently,” Tony replies, twisting the cap with so much force that he cracks it.
“It’s my spider-sense!” Peter sobs, face pressed firmly to his knees.
“Okay, spider-boy,” Tony says, holding out a pill. “Take this.”
Peter glances up, sees the pill, and recoils.
“What?” Tony asks tiredly. “Why is it dangerous? Too helpful? Too yellow?”
“Addictive, choking hazard, will make it dangerous for me to operate heavy machinery,” Peter lists off.
“Good news. You only get one, the pill is, like, a tenth of the size of your throat, and you’re not driving a forklift anytime soon.”
Peter stares at the pill like it’s holding a gun at him.
“Pete,” Tony sighs.
“निद्रां”
There’s a blue flash of light. Peter blinks and then goes limp, tipping to the side and landing on his shoulder. He’s conked.
Tony turns around. Dr. Strange arches an eyebrow, hands still raised like he’s going to knock Tony out next. “Can I go now?”
“Why didn’t you do that earlier?” Tony demands.
Strange crosses his arms. “You told me to come here! I’m here, aren’t I? You didn’t say anything about knocking someone unconscious!”
“I thought it was implied when I asked for a tranquilizer!”
“Yes, silly me to think that you were going to use the tranquilizer you asked for. I should have known better.”
“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm,” Tony grumbles.
“I’m not getting into a fight with you about your hypocrisy today. Let’s just do whatever it is you want from me so I can go home.”
Tony sighs. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll explain on the way.”
---
Peter is trying his best. He really, really is. Unfortunately, the only thing that has given him even an ounce of relief is a sleep spell. He just can’t take a pill when it could be poison or something he’s allergic to or-
“Hey, Earth to Underoos. Pay attention.”
“Sorry,” Peter mumbles sheepishly.
The spell wore off an hour ago. Mr. Stark tried to get Peter to take the pill with similar results to the first. He also tried using a tranquilizer shot instead, but even attempting to sneak up on Peter was impossible. He just moved too fast. And an IV was simply out of the question. So instead, Peter gets two choices: get knocked out via space magic or stay awake and freak out the whole time. He’s only semi-helpful when he’s awake (and mostly a hindrance, according to Mr. Stark), but he’s completely useless asleep. At least awake, he can try to answer important questions.
“I’ve got Cap searching for Ock now, but we need to know. Where was the warehouse?”
“I…” Peter racks his brain. It feels like a million years ago. “Astoria. Near the river.” His breath catches in his throat. “I can’t be here. It’s… It’s not safe. I should-”
“You’re safe. You’re fine. The bay is triple-locked, my security system is top-of-the-line, and you’ve literally got Iron Man watching you. You’re fine.”
“But we’re in Avengers Tower. What floor is this? The sixtieth?”
“Sixty-first.”
“Yeah. So what happens when there’s an earthquake? Or a hurricane? Or-”
“Not gonna happen. Just… Just breathe for a second, okay? Need me to call Strange to knock you out again?”
Peter shakes his head, fighting to keep his breathing even. “M’okay.”
“Mm-hm.”
“There’s something in this room,” Peter realizes, hopping off the bed and fighting his every instinct to dodge the danger. “Like a gun or a gas leak or… Holy crap, Mr. Stark, you can’t stack extension cords like that in the outlet! You’re gonna start a fire!”
“You are really trying my patience, you know that?” Mr. Stark walks over and rips the plug from the outlet. “Happy?”
“No. I’m kinda freaking out.”
“No kidding? You seem perfectly calm to me.”
“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.”
“Just go sit down, kid,” Mr. Stark sighs. “Or is lactic acid build-up going to kill you the moment you stop moving?”
“Oh, dang. I didn't even think of that,” Peter murmurs to himself.
“It was a joke,” Mr. Stark grouses. “Dear lord, it was a joke. Your spider-sense has no sense of humor.”
“There's nothing funny about acidosis, Mr. Stark.”
“Kid, if you don't hush and sit down right now, I-” Mr. Stark holds up a finger and looks away.
“Thank god,” he says. “Talk to me, Cap.” He's quiet for a moment as Captain America says something mumbly over the line. Then he looks at Peter.
“Your Doc Ock, you said he has four robotic arms coming out of his back?”
Peter nods.
“Right on the money, Rogers,” Mr. Stark says, face lax with relief. “How long?” He pauses again, then- “Thanks a million.”
“He found the spider-sense-disrupter-thing?” Peter asks eagerly.
“Some kind of machine, yeah. Should have that thing ripped apart in ten seconds,” Mr. Stark promises.
Peter doesn't feel any different after ten seconds. He’s still on edge. Still uncertain about the lithium battery in Mr. Stark’s smartwatch and can't stop smelling the air for smoke or natural gas.
“I don't think it-”
Peter stumbles, and Mr. Stark grabs him before he can hit the ground. “Whoa, easy, kid. Talk to me.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Peter says, successfully regaining his balance. “Pretty sure all the adrenaline just went away.”
“Just like that, huh?”
Peter narrows his eyes. “Well… the spider-sense says you haven't had this floor tested for radon, but other than that, I think so.”
Mr. Stark smiles and ruffles Peter’s hair. “You're okay, kid. You're okay.”
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No one ever talks or cares about how he hadn’t had a proper childhood, he was growing up with the expectations of his father laying on his shoulders, he never got to decide what he wanted to do with his life, he always knew he’d gonna take over the company one day.
As a child, he never got told he was wanted, liked or loved by his father, he only had his mother but she didn’t love him enough to stop his father from treating him like that. He was friends with their butler Jarvis. He didn’t have any friends his age.
Tony started underage drinking presumably as a way to cope with the lack of love and the pressure in his life. I mean he went to a boarding school because his father abandoned him. He went to college when he was sixteen (16!). He was forced to grow up way before he was ready to.
Then his parents died. His mom, probably the only person that told him he was loved, died. He only had Rhodey, only one (1) person to rely on when he became CEO. The most part of his life was the company. He partied and slept around to get away from that, to find life in his existence because he was never enough, no one wanted a genius, they only wanted the billionaire.
Then after Afghanistan just imagine. He now got PTSD on top if his childhood trauma, probably became afraid of water, got betrayed by the person that was supposed to help him with the company. Everyone told him he was crazy for stopping the weapon production. He finally felt like he had a reason to be alive and they all told him he was crazy.
Then the avengers only added to his trauma. Steve telling him he’s not a superhero, not the one to make the sacrifice play but he hadn’t had a single clue how hard Tony was trying or he didn’t want to see it. Again, Tony was not enough, not even when he tried his hardest. But after the battle of new york he had friends.
He got flashbacks and anxiety attacks and none of his so called friends was there.
Then Civil War happened, he lost his friends, half of his team, his family. One of his former friends even tried to kill him, after betraying him and not telling him what he knew about the death of Tony’s parents.
They never cared about him as a person, only about his money.
And yes, the other avengers had trauma too, some even “worse” than Tony, but all of them got accepted and cared for more than they accepted and cared for Tony.
Yk something that’s always annoyed me? How they drifted over Tony’s anxiety in Iron Man 3.
During the entire movie Tony has anxiety and panic attacks because of what happened in the Avengers movie. But yet at the end of the movie he talks about how the metal that was close to his heart finally got removed, and they acted like that was the cure to his anxiety. The metal shards had nothing to do with his anxiety and then they never even bring it up ever again! (at least not that I’ve noticed) and that just makes me really mad because it could’ve been such a big part of his character tbh but they just brushed past it like it was nothing, like that fight or any of the fights after it meant nothing to him. Idk it just confuses me I suppose because there was never an actual solution to it because, again, the metal wasn’t the cause of his anxiety, it was because of the fight was and the fact that he almost died. (Edit:) And the fact that he almost lost, which would’ve cost him everything, and made him feel like he needed to do more to keep everyone safe. If that time was so close who’s to say it won’t happen again yk?
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Even if you don’t mean to do something you still did it so you should still take responsibility for your actions *cough cough Wanda Maximoff cough cough*
whump is such a strange thing for me. ‘oh im having trouble shouldering the burdens of daily life, let me play scenes in my head of someone getting the shit kicked out of them (fictionally), that’ll make me feel better’ and it DOES
