vampires please gimme the sucky sucky

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

the Terracotta Army guy?

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining

to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week

Happy 30-50 feral hogs day

girl who finally is going back to reading by finishing one book: now i'm going to read all the books in the world.

and like i saw someone with their pictish beast fully off leash at the fishmonger's yesterday fleece mangy as fuck and it was snapping up atlantic mackerels whenever its owner had their back turned i'm telling you it's crazy out here

Yeah I hope a kelpie eats your stupid fucking pictish beast

my farming sim game will have animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop to act as a lightning rod to draw all the discourse and thinkpieces away from topics that would annoy me more

in my farming sim game that has animal butchery as a normalized part of the gameplay loop, shipped products will be sold on a weekly basis, not a daily one. you get a big windfall once a week and then you budget around that. if you want more money in the interim you have to go sell to the local merchants whatever products they specialize in.

in my farming sim game, getting married to one of the townspeople will have a significant impact on your gameplay. if you marry the rival farmer, their smaller farm will be merged with yours. if you marry the town alchemist/doctor you get a buff to all your alchemy and you wake up from getting knocked out in your own home instead of their clinic. if you marry the priestess she uh, idk she does weather related divine magic for you so you can choose the weather, idk i haven't thought too hard about that one yet

my farming sim game will have a MILF you can actually F