the goblins were awakened

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

Fuck small talk.  Let’s talk about how your day was, the weather, or the big game last night.

happy pride month. no i do not want to watch rocky horror picture show

Msg literally stands for Makes Shit Good so why would you not want it

Magic she gathering

oh its bad back there.

God I’m so hungry I could eat a h- *looks around nervously to make sure my friend Devin, the Talking Horse isn’t nearby* phew. Well I’m so hungry I could kill and eat my friend Devin

just wont to say for goidness sake i LOVE chickpeas 

you have to be in a certain specific mood to listen to classic rock because sometimes a guy is playing his guitar and you're just like shut the fuck up man