I often find your responses to anons to come across as arrogant and dismissive at times. Perhaps it's bc most people answer anons & sound genuinely excited to interact with others and you do not. I also struggle with your fics at times because Michael is constantly written as possessive and Alex meek and it can be exhausting. But you are a very talented writer and your ability to turn out fics so frequently is impressive.
First, just very quickly, this is malex’s dynamic as I see it, and in my opinion, I write them pretty accurately, if I do say so myself.
Here’s the thing; this is just how I talk. I could blame the way I come off in responses on bad mental health, but the truth is that messages from you guys usually make my day and brighten my mood, so I can’t even say, “Well, I just feel overwhelmed with love and don’t know how to cope.” I just honestly... talk like this? I love things very much, but am very rational in terms of compliments and excitement. So, for instance, when someone says they love my fic, I’m thinking, “It could’ve been better.” Or if you tell me you loved a chapter, I’m already consumed with either listing out all its faults, or mentally working on how to perfect the next one. Which, of course, never happens. Simply put, I really, really, really, really can’t take a compliment.
Second, I do notice other blogs usually responding with a bunch of exclamation marks and emojis, and I’m not at all saying it seems fake — I’m sure those people just prefer expressing their emotions with emojis — but using that stuff too often feels fake to me. I don’t feel like I’m being authentic to myself, you know? Not because I’m not genuinely excited to talk to you guys or see your comments, but because that’s just not how I react to things in my life. I’m not a pessimist, I don’t think, but I am a realist. I think things through a lot, so a complement never feels real. A speculation is just a speculation, and after being in fandoms for so long, I’m just kind of over hoping for one thing and not getting anything close to it.
Bottom line is that, while I appreciate beyond words that you guys read my stories, and I thank you sincerely for your compliment, I’m not going to create a persona to pander to anyone, you know? My responses might lack exclamation marks and laughing emojis, but they’re genuine. I love when you guys message me, and comments on my stories always excite me. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t be posting here, and not nearly as much as I do. Also, I work very hard. Like, very, very hard on my stories, and if I take a bow to a compliment, it’s because I know that I earned it. No all-caps, no millions of hearts, no exclamations, but you’ll just have to trust me, I suppose.
