vance's page :)

i hate that when you try and look up shit for writing purposes it starts linking suicide hotlines and addiction advice articles like bro i just wanna know the information im not killing myself i promise. now tell me what i wanna know

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

a chainsaw is a lot like a hot glue gun

when you have one in your hands you start to get Ideas about your surroundings

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

it’s so funny tht on here i’m like, mostly a normie while irl i’m consistently the weirdest person in the room at almost any given time. i’m like between two worlds., too normal for online but too weird for real life… i’m like junkrat from riverdale i don’t fit in

jughead

I just wrote 8 pages when I haven't written in months and was beginning to think I'd never be able to again. Idk what it is, but I am sharing and manifesting this energy for every writer who sees this. May you write 8 quality pages effortlessly and find joy writing once more

8 pages you say

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

never seen anyone fucking kill a man on reddit

did you google how to take a screen shot

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

i thought they were bees.

oh my fucking god. oh my god. it can't possibly look like that to you

does anyone else see the spectre of stones inside the post

fly! fly! there's a waiter in my soup!

This post has soup in it!! Very good.

you'd think it was good but there's a whole entire man in my soup he's asking me for my order he doesn't even work here

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this