today at work a coworker warned me that my patient’s owner let us know her cat is homophobic, meaning he tends to attack gay people violently on sight, which I thought was a joke. but that cat saw me and may have been the angriest cat I’ve ever worked with and DID in fact bite me through Kevlar gloves because he hated me so much

I want to emphasize that the cat was wearing a pride flag collar, which the owner gave him as exposure therapy

I asked the bartender for a coffee with no milk and he said we're out of no milk and gave me a cup full of milk

who would even miss me [thinks about the many people who would] oh come on

I could be your ibuprofriend :).....or your advillain >:)

Bitch I don’t even know you. And you’re a deer.

Paramore was right. Hard times