Clusterfuck.net

@dowhattdewott

Just random nerdy, funny, and sj stuff. Daisy Johnson is better than all the mcu combined.

158.8K posts

sneezed so hard my cum flew out and i started crying

Gum.

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fantasizing about you fantasizing about me

coolstorybrahhh

bricked up after a kiss? my type of man

theemotionmachine

I’ve never ONCE seen one of these and not being just like…absolutely riddled with tension, so. Keep passing them around, I guess!

cheaphalloweencostume

horrible fucking partner just said apropos of nothing “and i’ll SUCK, and i’ll FUCK, and i’ll BLOW YOUR BACK OUT” like the big bad wolf.

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hitmyvape-deactivated20251006

making out with a pair of balls slowly and romantically like they’re the love of my life

Picard Big Naturals

Brown eyes are so iconic and beautiful

Green eyes are even more iconic and beautiful.

movedtoscammer-deactivated20190

If i met a white person irl I’d beat the shit out of them and mug them just because of this post. Because of you. Maybe even kill them. Because of you. You had to say this and now some random cracker bitch is gonna die. Are you happy? Was it worth it?

penandinkprincess

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

penandinkprincess

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

penandinkprincess

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

penandinkprincess

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

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cardassian-artistry

8syntheticanimal8

incineroar but as an animal crossing villager

edit: i mostly draw gay furry porn don’t follow me

LMAO IM GLAD YALL LIKE THE EDIT

whenever you see C#m on a chord sheet you know the musician was just playing bar chords and couldn’t resist the temptation of the most annoying chord in the god damn book

so i just noticed that c sharp minor is a bit shocking to read when spelled out in shorthand

whenever you see cum on a chord sheet you know the musician was just jackin it

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I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

putting on the high vis corset and running in front of cars across a dark country road like a deer

Item: Corset of Visibility

obscurelocalstranger

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