Im a whole lot hotter than i look

Getting into a KarAkciddent and splashing 3 cups of FükkenScälden all over myself

funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

Hello my beautiful human body! I’ve invited you here today to discuss adopting non-mucus-based solutions to common challenges—

i could never handle immortality not because of any existential reasons but because i know itd make my procrastination so much worse. catch me putting off tasks for decades. catch me putting off tasks for centuries. what do you mean that movie ive been meaning to get around to became lost media 40 years ago. what do you mean that landmark ive been meaning to visit has been eroded. oooh i got PLANY of time..............

guys i’m so sorry to say this but exercising and indulging in hobbies rather than scrolling on your phone for 200 hours actually does improve your mood and overall mental health, this has deeply upset me more than anyone

ilya responds to ig q&a questions that say ‘whats it like to be a fucking f*ggot?’ with a picture of shane in a backwards cap and a white tshirt casually lifting the hem to wipe his mouth with one hand so his abs are exposed while he’s holding ilyas hand with the other, with the text ‘VERY AWESOME 😍👍’

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

@fanotastic more worms

Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.

have you ever seen me without this stupid blog on ? that’s weird

at some point ilya inevitably sends the following sext: “we are meeting after the game for netflix and chill yes?” and shane is like why is he asking me to watch television with him that is way too intimate