Jess' Mess

also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?”  and then scream and cut out his mic.

Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.

what i miss most about being a chocolatier (besides the honor of gayest job title imaginable) is we had these massive bars of chocolate for tempering that were 10lbs and we had to break them into smaller chunks. by using a sledgehammer of course. i LIVED for that shit

all the other people in production HATED busting them especially at the end of the shift but i fucking loved it. give me the hammer. i can be trusted with the hammer. And everyone did in fact trust me with the hammer because again they all thought it was tedious and painful. me? i was having the time of my life. even if i had to pick up the slack for other people i would be annoyed for all of five seconds before the euphoria of getting to smash things set in. and the production areas had windows too so customers often just got to watch me beat the shit out of a massive chocolate bar. with a hammer. like a zoo animal. i was getting paid to do that. every day i miss it.

Wahoo!

unrestrained summer fun

and it’s only because i’m alone - having a 6’4” bulky built husband usually makes people swallow whatever nasty comments they may have

If you experience someone ranting at a fellow passenger, one great non-confrontative strategy is to act like you know each other from way back when and are having a chance encounter. Like "Ooooh, what a surprise to see you here! How are you doing??" This will also allow you to brush past the aggressor.

👀👀 not gonna name names but SOME of u are sweet and kind and deserve the world and i am rooting for u

rb to give your mutuals a silly little paper valentine card and a red heart shaped lollipop 💖

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

It’s like. When I was told to “just be yourself” as a kid I thought it was a passive thing. Like oh easy I just have to sit here and be myself. but the reason so many people think that “being yourself” is bullshit advice is because you actually have to make active choices to do this and it WILL make your life way more fun. You have to wear t-shirts of bands that were popular ten years ago because you like them. You have to do your hair in a way that you find cute or comfortable even if it’s “so nineties”. If your friend says a food you enjoy is gross to them, you can’t be afraid to admit you casually disagree. You have to do hobbies that you’re interested in even if you’re bad at them and you cant feel like you have to get good at something before you tell people it’s an activity you do. You have to read manga and comic books in public and get piercings your relatives think are unattractive. You don’t have to tell people you dislike that you dislike them, but you don’t have to give them your time and attention either. You have to rewatch that kids show you’re nostalgic for even if you’re in your 30s. You have to change your name if you hate it, even if only a few close friends can know. You have to get fun girly drinks at the bar. You have to order hot chocolate when you don’t like coffee and black coffee when you don’t like sweet things. I am still bad at practicing this but it is the only way to make it all tolerable.

obtuse is such a good word. Bro that was so thoughtless it's triangle

I'm reminded of that one post where a guy said put a sparkly pink unicorn sticker on the best forklift in the warehouse, and confirmed that it is indeed always available for him to use now.