Doppelgänger Leaverite

I'm so horny I could fuck a person I was attracted to #TRUE

Minecraft wheat field so big my entire computer froze when I tried to open axiom and when minecraft proceeded to crash my computer freaked out so bad it started opening randomly recently used apps and stopped rendering several key graphics on my hotbar 🤪✌️

i invented every food

and most drinks

i can't be held responsible for milk

not with that attitude

wore a white dress and walked in the rain to the barracks so all the knights could see my skin peeking through the fabric and i said “oh my, excuse me ladies, it seems i got myself lost in the downpour… i’m all alone and no one even knows i’m here…” and they just gave me warm clothes and made me soup so i didn’t catch a cold and escorted me back to my room. i fucking hate chivalry

I can’t believe im saying this but. Stop submitting joke candidates for the clacton by election you’re splitting count binface’s vote

zenquish rapidly approaches. be joyous

For Zenquish this year I will be staring at a clock to get a feel for how instant it is, in one moment it will have been Zenquish eve and in the next it will be August and I will have once again experienced 0.000 seconds of Zenquish join with me in this beautiful yearly tradition

happy friday to the freaks. the rest of u… get more freaky idk what 2 tell u

I'm fatally wounded... And it's yours

uppies-seeking behavior

[Image ID: Text message that reads "Did you see that the spider in the bathroom appears to have taken a lover?" End of ID]

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can