Doppelgänger Leaverite

do NOT awawa at your former coworker who is messaging you on linkedin trying to help you get a job at his current company

its such a natural response that i've typed it out of habit and then deleted it like 6 times

one day i will crack my back in a way that will solve all my life problems

no one knows if watching a new tv show is possible

you should add a set of randomized bonus rules on top of chess that only the advisors know about, so even if everyone knows how to play chess the rulers still feel beholden to their advisors, and the advisors want to say only enough that the rulers can play without knowing so much that the advisors become redundant

scrolling back up after a long ass post to see who's guilty

we need swimmable cities 

The last of the classically trained tumblrinas

soimething purple just happened

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

if i am not a princess then i am still far too effete to be a knight and yet maid is hardly right either. i believe that in the presence of outranking princessgirls i would take on a sort of "royal wizard" type role that is responsible for spells and wards and such and my locomotion through the castle would absolutely involve teleporting in and out of environmental shadows

my royal magus, can u fetch my appy juice from the pantry,,, is too far :(

My dark confession is that i want to put moisturizer on a vulture's head